Reply to Do women expect a ring at 1 year?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]How old are you two?

Why do you feel like you’re not ready to make a life long commitment? Is it something about her, or something about commitment?[/quote]

OP here. I’m in love with and see a future with her. I’ve never thought about marrying a woman before I met her. It’s still just scary because [b]my family doesn’t believe in divor[/b]ce and it’s a lifelong commitment. I don’t feel like there is a rush when it’s a decision that can determine the rest of your life. [/quote]

That's baloney.  You shouldn't get married because you  need to get away from your controlling family. Seek therapy because you are too enmeshed.[/quote]

OP here.[b] I’m a catholic.[/b] They are not controlling. Many people don’t take marriage seriously but I do. Too many people get married with the idea they can just divorce in 10 or 20 years. That’s not what I want for my life or my future kids. They deserve a two parent household with happy parents. [/quote]
Whoa, whoa, whoa. This changes everything. I hope you aren’t fornicating with this woman. So you’ve been dating chastely for a whole year and still haven’t figured it out? I want to give you the benefit of the doubt, but how can you pull the Catholic card when you want to live with her before marriage? Why are you so worried about divorce when you know it’s not permitted in your religion? Now you seem really, really unserious and immature/confused.[/quote]

OP. I am also from a family that did not believe in divorce. Guess what? I am divorced. I'm Orthodox Christian. He was "not a devout Catholic" who went to Catholic school K-12. We married at me at 32 and him 36. Guess what? Regardless of the stats, things happen in life you can't control. We dated almost 3 years. It turned out to be the biggest mistake I ever made.

After a year, you know everything you need to know. Delaying a year is not going to change a thing.
If you want to marry her, just get married. If you feel that waiting a year is going to somehow divorce-proof your marriage--or that living together will--you are really naive.

And you should know living together is not really what you are supposed to be doing.

If you want to marry this woman, there really is no reason to wait. As is, you are are going to be an old dad if you want kids. Ex is 50. Our youngest is 9.

By the way this "I don't beleive in divorce" rather than admitting we made a mistake (and he lied about life goals) kept me miserable for 10 years because of that family stigma. Everyone is happier now--including our kids. They saw the toxicity.

Point is: "waiting" is dumb and will not improve your odds. If you want a family with this woman, just get on with it.[/quote]

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