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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]He sounds very sweet, OP, and he will come into his own and shine.

If his GPA is low, and he's "shy" and not focused, have you thought that he may have inattentive ADHD? My son has that (along with other issues) and ADHD meds were a lifesaver in middle and high school while he caught up. Graduated high school with a 4.67 GPA. Now he's in college and doesn't use his meds except for exam days.

Just making a suggestion.[/quote]

Thank you! It has occurred to me, but it’s more like he either doesn’t want to work harder or maybe he genuinely doesn’t realize that the quality of work he produces is not up to par. Like, he will say - oh I missed assignment X and got an F, but I’ll ace assignment Y and make up the grade. Then, he gets a C on assignment Y and is flabbergasted. [/quote]

PP you replied to. A little research on the nature of inattentive ADHD would not come amiss. Your son needs a lot of explicit explanations, training and hand-holding. His reactions are textbook inattentive ADHD. The "Oh, I'm so surprised it turned out this way despite my parent and everyone else warning me it would turn out this way" is very frequent in those profiles. The issue is that they are missing key steps in the process. They know what they want, but they can't get there by themselves, because executive function (task initiation, task completion, working memory, time management, organization) are missing. It comes across as laziness or lack of motivation, but it's actually a divergence in the way their brains produce and transmit the neurotransmitters necessary for planning and action, particularly that of non-preferred tasks. Conversely, someone with ADHD might hyperfocus on a preferred task (video games, or reading, or whatever). Hence why their entourage might tend to blame and misunderstand rather then correctly identify and address the underlying issue.

An evaluation might be in order. Generally ADHD kiddos benefit not only from meds, but also from executive function coaching, either informally from parents, from a resource teacher or counselor at school with the services and accommodations of a 504 plan, or from an executive function coach you hire. 
[/quote]

Agree with this 100%. DP.[/quote]

Ditto. FWIW, my son in MS was a solid B student who seemed lazy and apathetic about school. It all went to hell in 9th grade and we finally got him evaluated. Diagnosed with ADHD (same as DH, we really should have seen it sooner). Meds and executive function coaching helped a lot. By junior year he was a straight-A student taking several AP classes. Now a solid A college student majoring in applied math and working this summer at a great internship. He's still pretty laid back overall, quiet, not competitive, doesn't win awards but is a good friend, a good employee (he's also a TA during the school year), happy and doing well. [/quote]

Thank you for telling your son’s story! He seems like a very fine young man.
I think I need to get mine evaluated. I was thinking about it earlier, I even emailed a teacher who expressed concerns about his work ethic, but the school said they won’t evaluate because he isn’t failing. 
I guess I need to go through the medical route. 
I just… [b]I was really hoping he would just mature.[/b] But I guess I owe it to him. [/quote]

It may still be just maturity and attitude, not ADHD. Regardless he may benefit from executive function coaching, especially if the coach/tutor is a young man. My son really benefited in 9th-10th grade from working with two tutors (one for French, one for EF) that were guys recently out of college. They really inspired him to aim higher. He took the message a lot better from them than Mom/Dad who clearly don't know anything.[/quote]

This is great to know, thank you for sharing! -OP[/quote]

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