Reply to My school emails me nearly every day with a complaint about something dc has said and Idk what to do.

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Reply to "My school emails me nearly every day with a complaint about something dc has said and Idk what to do. "

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Op - a big issue I have is that once you are an sn parent - everything is potentially attributable to the sn. You can no longer tell the difference and it can be so hard to figure out what they can ‘help’ and thus deserving of consequence and what they can’t help. When I look back on me at age 10 I remember so many instances where I said something mean to a kid or they teased me in a way that was unkind. No one really dealt bc that was the late 80s and just par for the course. Ultimately I’m of course going to deal with it regardless. But it can be so tricky when your kid is nt seeming but has this profile - bc it just seems like they are being a punk not that they have a disability - and sometimes they are! [/quote]

Here's the thing- from the school perspective, if a kid is saying something that they want to sound funny but that is actually hurtful, their disability does not matter. Same for if their disability causes them to have a physical impact on others. My DD's bff is 2e and was counseled out of their former school because when she became disregulated she would windmill and sometimes that resulted in others being hit or objects flying off of surfaces. She could not help her physical outbursts at that age, but she was held accountable for it nonetheless because it had an impact on her classmates and her teacher.

Intent is not something that can be taken into account when it involves others. Schools are not going to let some kids be unkind and other kids be unkind, especially when their disabilities are more invisible. I know it's frustrating but you'll need to be realistic. A private school is going to prioritize 19 other kids' actual experience over 1 kids' intent.[/quote]

It matters because the school could do LOTS of things to prevent the kids with disabilities from getting disregulated enough to need to windmill (or say unkind things). That child needed more physical stimulation. She should have had movement breaks. That’s so easy to accommodate. She didn’t need to be counseled out. This example makes me angry.[/quote]

Private schools don’t care about inclusion, educating “the whole child”, supporting children with disabilities (unless it’s the kind that looks good on promo materials). They want pliant kids who easily meet the school’s academic standards.

Of course they could accommodate the child in the above example. But of course they choose not to.[/quote]

I don’t think you can generalize. There are many private schools with different styles. There are also many many socially challenged kids with a lot of money. Schools need to survive just like any other business[/quote]

Of course we can generalize. These schools don't want disabled kids. How is this a question?[/quote]

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