Reply to Equitable/reasonable division of care among siblings

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Look, I'm also not sure if you're the OP or not, but it has gotten ridiculous. Adult children have their own lives, which don't revolve around mommy. If mommy needs lots of help and socializing, you need to hire it out, the adult children cannot be anyone's only outlet. Loneliness is normal, we all have to find our own things to do and our own entertainment, and never has it been easier than now. Adult children don't call and visit regularly because they're busy with jobs and families, and there might be long-standing relationship problems. Elderly need to have their own group of peers to socialize with. At the end of the day, you cannot force anyone to do what you want. Your siblings are adults and decide for themselves, and this decision may be different from yours, and you'll just have to live with it. I never remember my own grandparents expecting everybody to sit with them or eat with them because they're bored, they found their own things to do until the very end. [/quote]

So what’s reasonable?

Is it reasonable to only pop in once every three months or so for a 20 minute visit…even when you live in the same town?

Assuming you think a quarterly visit is reasonable, is it reasonable to suggest you don’t show up empty handed? Perhaps you could pick up groceries or even simply stop by cvs to pick up medication on your way?

Or if you can’t pick up the meds (maybe because you don’t want to pay for the modest copay), what if your sibling suggests you visit once every three months around a meal time so you can bring a meal or observe whether she eats?

This is what we are talking about: not a big lift.

I’m so glad I’m not a jerk. I’m so glad at least most of my siblings are helpful. I’m so glad I’m modeling decent caregiving behavior for my own kids (who enjoy visiting their grandmother).

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