Reply to Equitable/reasonable division of care among siblings

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Didn't you say this previously?

"In fact, the unhelpful one was universally adored. The fun one. Spoiled. But our parents and all the siblings loved/love them."[/quote]

A lot of people who were allowed to get away with all sorts of crap when they were younger, because youth & charm will do that, can't see why that has to change just because they're older and have some responsibilities now. The guy who goes golfing while his wife handles getting kids to sports practice is often the guy who can't be bothered to have dinner with his lonely parents occasionally, or if he shows up to a family event, he's the last one to arrive and the first to go, and all he talks about is himself.

The people who insist you can hire people to do everything? I mean, sort of, and I'm all for throwing money at problems if you can afford it and that will make the money go away. But you still need to be talking to your elderly relatives, both because they need the interaction and because it's how you find out what else they want and need.

Siblings don't all need to do the same amount or the same things. Lives are different, skills are different. But if every time someone says, "Mom needs X," you Homer Simpson it into the shrubbery; if one sibling says, "Dad wants Y" and you cannot imagine how they know that, you are doing less than the minimum. And could you stop telling us that you've "learned" something that one of us told you weeks ago? Could you stop congratulating yourself on how you talked Mom out of doing something we told you weeks ago she needs to do? You don't get to take the path of blissful (for you, not your parent) ignorance and then cast yourself as the superhero, especially when every one of your choices is clearly intended to save yourself effort and preserve your inheritance. [/quote]

Again, you clearly have longstanding resentments against this sibling. And this sibling is tired of dealing with your “my way or the highway” attitude and is now doing things their own way.

It also appears that you think that your sibling and/or their spouse may read DCUM and you are hoping that they read your very specific posts and that they get your message without you having to actually talk to them yourself. If they are reading this, they will only see much of what they probably already know about you and how you operate. 
[/quote]

[b]I am sure my sibling, who has no children[/b] and doesn’t live anywhere near DC, is not reading this, but I do think that it would be nice if they showed any interest in our parent, which in my “my way or the highway” terms means calling regularly and visiting occasionally without making it clear they’d rather be anywhere else.

There is no statement you can make, from tactful to direct, that produces this result. It’s remarkable to me that you live in a world where everyone steps up appropriately (which, yes, in some cases would be “not at all) for their parents. Must be nice.[/quote]

Are you the OP?   You seem to be responding as if you are the OP, but the OP's "unhelpful" sibling has children.[/quote]

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