Reply to Rant: “you look amazing”

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]"Thank you"

Then you realize that people are trying to be nice to you.  You clearly don't deserve it.  What a self-centered shrew![/quote]

I want to apologize.  Now that I have read the other comments, I fully agree that you must be having some sort of post-partum issues and you should probably seek help.  It is fully irrational to be offended by such a nice compliment.  You should view your reaction as a red flag.[/quote]

Perhaps you should view your knee jerk response to tell a post partum woman that she does not deserve kindness and is a "self-centered shrew" as a red flag and ALSO seek professional help.[/quote]

It is a good point.  I am just really upset about people who are so self-centered that they view common compliments as offensive.  It not only brings negativity to the world in general, but it chills people from being nice.  I hadn't considered that maybe the new mom was generally a wonderful person who appreciates people being nice to her but is currently suffering from mental illness.[/quote]

Consider that is much more self centered to think anyone cares about your opinion of their body. Wanting to just be left alone/unbothered is not really self centered at all.[/quote]  It actually is.  Stay home if you can't handle people trying to be nice and polite to you.  Please don't bring your negativity to others.[/quote]
"You don't deserve human contact if you don't get narc supply from comments about your physical appearance."
"You're negative, never happy, the cause of depression, etc." [/quote]

You don’t deserve human contact if you’re going to use those interactions to try to make everyone feel as miserable as you do.[/quote]

Everyone deserves human contact but ESPECIALLY a woman who recently gave birth and is struggling emotionally.

But good job making this all about you and your feelings.[/quote]

Some of you are insufferable, narcissistic drama queens.  Look at the site you’re posting to.  Most of the women posting have given birth before.  Many of us multiple times.  And many of us have experienced PPD.  But there are always those bridezilla-esque new moms who demand to be treated as though they’re the first and only women to ever give birth!! [/quote]

And many of us, who have given birth, who have experienced PPD, and have had the same experience as OP of having ourselves called “amazing” or validated for being thin, covering up major medical concerns, are empathizing with this new mother instead of calling her names.

How old are you?[/quote]

[b]Old enough to remember the good ole days[/b] before never ending therapy (administered by people I wouldn’t trust to walk my dog) ruined an entire generation through the encouragement of excessive navel gazing and framing victimhood as aspirational.

How old are YOU?[/quote]

That’s what I thought.

I’m old enough to have been taught by my grandmother and by Emily Post that no lady or gentleman is so vulgar as to comment on the appearance of another. [/quote]

I hope you never tell any moms that their babies are adorable, either.

Soon we can all live in the Emily Post approved Utopia populated by a bunch of Dwight Schrutes: “It is your birthday.”[/quote]

You know what I usually say to new moms I see out socially?

“Gosh I’m so happy to see you! I’m glad you’re here!”

And then I ask if I can get them anything like a drink or shady chair.

It’s so easy to have good manners. [/quote]

Regardless of anything else that has been shared in this thread, I just want to second the suggestion that the nicest compliment you can pay someone is "I am genuinely happy you are here."

As someone who has struggled with mental health at various points in my life, including postpartum, this is far and away the kindest thing someone can ever say to me, and the bonus is that there is absolutely no way to misconstrue it as an insult or an unreasonable expectation. People need to hear that that others are glad they exist. They especially need to hear it when they are going through a tough time. I am somewhat ambivalent on compliments on my appearance -- there are times when they are welcome but there are also times when I would really prefer people not focus on my body or how I look, even if they do it in a complimentary way. But if you are reading this thread and thinking "I give up! What are you supposed to say then?" I highly recommend just saying "It is really good to see you."[/quote]

But poor depressed mom had just worked up the gumption to leave early, go home and get some much needed rest.  But now you’ve placed this new burden on her by centering *your* happiness.  [/quote]

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