Reply to If you have a top student who chose GMU, how did you get over the comments/looks?

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[quote=Anonymous]OP— your kid takes their lead from you. So, you fake it til you make it. A slightly incredulous “did you really just say that out loud?” look at someone making a rude comment. Then you say “we think he make a wonderful choice and we are so proud of him.”

That’s it, discussion over.  You don’t owe anyone an explanation and you should never let yourself be put in the position of playing defense. So don’t.

My kid went to a SLAC, despite getting into schools including WM. Again, significant ADHD played a role. And I had people say things like “why would you pay so much for a school no one has heard of when he could go to WM?”  In front of him. So rude. So, they got my “did you really just say that out loud?” Look and “X is a wonderful school for the Kid and we think he made a great decision (also, significant merit and not more expensive than WM in state. But I’m not explaining or debating the merits of a college that is actually very well known if you get outside of the VA State College bubble).

Every time you “fake it,” you believe it more. And once college actually starts and you see your kid doing well, you are no longer faking it at all.

You tell your kid that going against peer pressure to make good personal decisions is tough, even for people in their 40s and 50s. And you are proud of them for having solid priorities and making a decision that is in line with them, rather than taking the easier path of attending a peer approved school. It shows self awareness and wisdom, and you now know they have the maturity to succeed in college. That part you shouldn’t have to fake. It’s 100% true.

My kids were classes of 20 and 22. And the 22 kid had some peers who tanked during distance learning and went from expecting UVA/WM/VT/JMU etc to starting at NOVA. By next year, they will all be settled as juniors in solid to excellent 4 year schools. The time at NOVA was a blip on their radar. [/quote]

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