Reply to Truthfully, can you both have careers and have 3+ kids?

Forum Index » General Parenting Discussion

Reply to "Truthfully, can you both have careers and have 3+ kids?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I’m curious how many of these responders have three kids. Everyone I know with three+ kids wouldn’t change it. It’s human nature to adapt. If you have a strong marriage, similar desire for more kids, and means - go for it. [/quote]

I'm a previous responder, and I have three kids, and my husband and I both work. It's really hard, and I am at a breaking point at least 1-2 times a week, because I feel like I haven't had sufficient 1-1 interaction with my kids (much less my husband). We are generally just cars passing each other in the driveway as we drive the kids to all of their things (our kids are 14, 11, and 8).

Of course I wouldn't change my family - I can't imagine life without my kids! I love watching them grow and I love watching each and every sporting event (maybe not winter swim meets, but oh well!) But  I also agree with a previous poster that you need to also think about your own happiness and mental health. There are days when I have basically no time for myself, and despite my husband (who works remotely full-time) pulling a ton of weight, if you're a mom, the likelihood is that you're still going to carry much more of the domestic and emotional load (even, if as in my case, you are the priority breadwinner.)

Again! Wouldn't change my 3 kids. But I worry about my stress and emotional health, and probably as a result of those two things, am prone to yelling when frustrated. [/quote]

How old are your kids? Do you work from home? I usually can spend at least 30 minutes to multiple hours 1:1 with each kid each day and my kids are 5 and under. Also, my husband and I have a lot of intimacy, talk multiple times a day, and hang out at night. We’re very connected. [/quote]

PP. My kids are 14, 12, and 8. I am mostly working back in my office, though I do try to work from home Fridays. But I use those days to squeeze in all the domestic stuff I haven't had time for during the week - grocery shopping, house pick up, laundry (though my kids are all responsible for their own laundry, I usually try to do sheets, towels, my own laundry on Fridays). I also try to schedule any personal appts - medical, haircuts, etc. on Friday as well since I have no other time to do this!

My husband typically manages after-school pickups (our kids are in two different private schools without bus transportation). By the time I get home, the whirling dervish of sports/ECs is already in full swing and I have to come in as the heavy w/r/t homework and piano practice as we maniacally drive them around town. ;) Last night I didn't see my middle child until I kissed him goodnight (he waited up for me to return from my eldest's basketball games). I did see my youngest for 45 minutes while I helped him with his homework, fed him dinner, and sent him off on his bike (with another kid) for his baseball practice.

I wanted to go to bed once I got home, but hadn't even eaten dinner. So I pushed myself to stay up and watch something with my husband (our only time together the entire day), but could only make it for 30 minutes! We do tend to talk on the phone multiple times a day, but if I'm honest, it's mostly to organize schedules. We do try to go out 1-2 times per week (game-changer that our eldest is responsible!)

We are fortunate to have a good social group of families that we actually like, so I have that as a good outlet as well. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics