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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]For me, it never would have done any good, because I’m not a vengeful, Grudgy, or scorched earth kind of person. YMMV, on this, but for me, holding my head high and knowing what the truth was was what was most important to me. She owed me nothing, and who knows what lies he told?

It was over, so why look back? Why throw a grenade? You’re not going to prevent happiness where there is none already. And why burn the survivors, just because you’re hurting? The altruistic “the spouse needs to know” is just lashing out, and I think most people would know that in reflection.

You get to be hurt, you get to be mad.. but why do you need company for that? Live your story to its best. Ignore these secondary players. 
 [/quote]

My sister wanted to save her marriage. Her DH's AP said not to contact her husband, which made my sister laugh and say, "only when you promise not to contact my husband." But she didn't. I told her she should. That if she wanted her marriage to survive, she needed to expose the affair to the only other person in a position to monitor the affair couple. But she thought she would take the high road.

A few months later the AP's DH phoned my sister to let her know the affair was still going on. He had actually discovered photos and confronted his wife when the affair was brand new, and his wife had convinced him that it was a one time thing. So he didn't try to tell my sister. By the time the two betrayed spouses got in touch with each other, the affair had been going on for a year. Both couples are now divorced, and the cheaters are married to each other.

It's not about revenge. But cheaters will tell you that it is, [b]because blaming others for their own bad actions is how they maintain their belief that they are good people[/b].[/quote]

Yep [/quote]

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