Reply to I do not know how to handle adult son’s dramatic change

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]She sounds abusive and a narcissist.[/quote]

There is no woman in this thread who sounds abusive and a narcissist. Why did you resort to psychological diagnosis without any explanation?[/quote]

Everyone and their cousin is abusive and narcissist. People don't understand that randomly throwing these terms around is making real abuse and narcissism ordinary norm. Look up story of boy who cried wolf.

As far as OP goes, her kid is moving home in 2 months so this a non problem. Unlikely to find girlfriends living at home so all is good. Enmeshment is no more threatened by any foreign object.[/quote]

I am the OP and you are responding to my comment here, to make it clear.

I do not think it is an issue of enmeshment. As far as my son moving back home, if you have not read the whole thread, it was his decision. I am not threatened by my son’s girlfriend. The whole purpose of this thread was not to complain about her. She may be a factor in my son’s lack of engagement with everyone else or may be a mere spectator. I have been worried about my son’s change and wanted to hear other people’s perspectives.

My son and his girlfriend plan to maintain the long distance relationship even when they start working in two cities. I totally expect her to visit him in DMV are and him to drive to NY to meet her.

I just hope that he pays attention to his own interests and other relationships. I also would encourage him to talk to therapist to address any depression issues.[/quote]

I'm only working with limited information here so apologies. However, these are common happenings in senior year and parents tend to get worried about first born's every move.

However, if you find it alarming, do recommend going to his school's mental health center, they should be able to get him through this transition. If he feels therapy is helpful then he can find a therapist once back home.

Long distance with GF, new job, moving back home etc are a lot to digest. Most long distance relationships fade so that must be a worry for both. NYC has plenty of dating options.[/quote]

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