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[quote=Anonymous]Wow! While I haven’t read through all of the comments I am so shocked that so many of you find it completely normal and expected for a MIL not to care about her DIL.

Where I’m from when you marry someone you become a part of that family as well and you care for one another. I know for a fact my MIL genuinely cares about me as well. Obviously she will always love her own son more than me that’s totally normal and expected but she still cares about me as my own person and as her DIL.

When I had surgery she would personally text me to see how I’m recovering and she even stopped over to the house with baked goods.

When I was pregnant she would reach out to see how the pregnancy was going. In a non intrusive way.

Is it that much of a rarity to care about your DIL? That’s just so sad to me that so many of you have had negative experiences where your mil didn’t care about you.

Before you ask I am very close to my own parents as well but that doesn’t mean I can’t be close to my mil as well.

I think I would be hurt if I had a very difficult pregnancy and then my mil didn’t ask about me at all. Then waited until I wasn’t around and when my husband seemed tired asked him about it. But to be fair that’s because my mil has always shown love and genuine care for me.

My dad’s mom always showed love and care for my mom as well.

I think it’s so odd that it should be expected for your mil to treat you essentially as a stranger or acquaintance would be treated.

I do agree with the posters saying though it sounds like a DH problem more than just a mil problem. It is generally advised by marital counselors to not go to outsiders especially biased ones such as parents to vent about your marriage.

So the fact that this mil waited until the wife specifically wasn’t around to question her son on why he was so tired makes me think she feels comfortable asking her son these undermining questions and there has to be a reason she feels comfortable doing so and that reason is probably because her husband talks to his mom about this stuff.

Parents are like the most biased source on the planet. I would be having a conversation with my husband too if he was running to his mom to vent about me or dealing with the new baby because it would cause a rift between his mother and I and put strain on our marriage.[/quote]

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