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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Would you date someone who admitted to a failed marriage due to cheating? This is someone who is good-looking with a good career and appears to be a good parent. But loss of love/X led to cheating. Not sure if this is worth exploring further. [/quote]

I don’t judge as harshly as I did when I was younger, having an affair after 25 years of marriage where the previous eight had no warmth or affection is a lot different than sleeping with an Applebee’s hostess when your wife is on bedrest.

I’d have to ask more questions about what the relationship was like in the years leading up to his cheating, his cheating could’ve been an absolute relief to his wife, maybe she didn’t have the courage to end the relationship without citing some major offense, she could have purposely withheld affection and emotional intimacy to isolate and drive him away. Ask more questions then make the call. [/quote]

We can agree to disagree.  Deal breaker for me.  Cheating has been a deal breaker since I was a teen in HS until now as a 53-year old married 25-years.

Lying and cheating, and all the things you need to do to carry out an affair behind a spouse's back: unforgivable. But, I would address the 'no warmth or affection'.  Marriages have stages.  Raising kids and both working can cause couples to lose that closeness, get off track...I'm not going to go out and bang a stranger because of it.  I also had a lot of healthy, happy, functional marriages as role models--and outright told by my parents and older siblings when I was blissfully engaged: marriage can be hard, there may be times you can't stand to be in the same room-you won't believe this now--but you get through it and a long marriage has peaks and valleys.  Each peak after a valley--higher than the rest. My parents happiest times were empty nest/retirement they told me.  They traveled like crazy and seemed like newylweds.[/quote]

How about if your spouse is an addict (and abusive and nasty when under the influence which is 75% of the time)- how about if your spouse cannot cope on their own so you stay with them not to shatter their world and watch them crash and lose all hope of possible recovery (stay out of loyalty since youve been together since teenagers).[/quote]

And what if pigs fly and cows sung. You cheaters will think of anything in the world to jusitfy cheating. You are not loyal if you are cheating. [/quote]

You sound like you got cheated on and it destroyed you. I’m so sorry. [/quote]

Actually they sound incredibly normal. I am in a very happy marriage- but I’ve seen cheaters and they are always trying to justify it and paint themselves as a victim and/or some blameless party.  Always somebody else’s fault, always “but my circumstances justified it”, blah blah blah. It’s pathetic to everyone listening and watching this train wreck…sooner be watching Jerry Springer.  It’s where they belong.  Drama and angst. 24/7[/quote]

You wouldn’t be having such a visceral reaction to cheating if you weren’t being cheated on or utterly terrified your husband is sticking it in the younger, prettier woman he works with. Come on. Admit it. [/quote]

Nope. Nobody likes a cheater.

Americans place cheating on a spouse dead last on a list of acceptable behaviors, behind abortion, cohabitation, pornography, out-of-wedlock births and divorce, among others. [b]A puny 6 percent say adultery is acceptable[/b], according to a Gallup poll conducted last May.

A potential for explosive impact and collateral damage may keep adultery at the bottom of the list. Infidelity "seemingly has a larger ripple effect than other things like cloning or abortion. It continues to painfully impact a family as they interact at family events and have to raise children together. It affects the lives of children and the extended family as well,"

Many people — the adult who as a child saw the fallout from a parent's affair, the boyfriend or girlfriend who was cheated on, the spouse who feels betrayed — have wounds from infidelity. The seventh of the Ten Commandments is not a distant concept today, but something raw: "It's an issue that hits close to home for many that often is surrounded by a lot of pain,"

Dishonesty is one of the most harmful aspects of infidelity[/quote]

You reference this study in so, so many posts on this forum. So it tells me you are deeply invested in the concept of cheating. Which is a bit odd.

I don’t like like cheating either. But I don’t have such a crazy reaction to it like you do. It exposes some deep fear on your end. [/quote]

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