Reply to My 39 y.o. gym trainer is looking for a husband, with no success on dating apps

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Reply to "My 39 y.o. gym trainer is looking for a husband, with no success on dating apps"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Does she want your advice?[/quote]

OP here. Yes, she is open to advice. But mostly I just wanted to vent about how sad her situation is. Some women miss their chance of finding a good husband because they don't make it a priority in their 20s.[/quote]

+1 to the other PP who said you sound smug, and, I'll add, sexist. [b] Women in their 20s should not make "finding a good husband" a priority in their 20s. [/b] They should prioritizing selecting and getting educated for a career in their 20s - a career path that will enable themselves to buy a home, save for retirement and raise children on their own if they have to. The need for financial stability to raise kids on their own is likely to happen whether they marry or not given the divorce rate is so high.

A man is not a plan.

Respectfully, does your 39 yo trainer own their own home, have a lot of savings, have a retirement plan, and warn enough to support a child on her own?  If not, she is not going to be great dating material for a lot of people.  Very few men her age want to marry and be financially responsible for a second (and third) person. Families today need to have both parents working at reasonable paying jobs to not struggle.

I'm guessing the answer to all of that is no, since she went into debt to freeze her eggs.   If she were more financially stable, she would have been considering having a kid on her own.

JFC, my own DD won't even be finished with her education until she is almost 28.  No one her age should be prioritizing "finding a husband". [/quote]

I'm not sure that I agree with this.  I know that a lot of women happily find a partner in their 30s, but my friends who seem to be in the best marriages met their husbands in graduate school in their 20s.  They were able to build a life together, career, finances, through their 20s and have kids when they wanted to.  They didn't have to "settle," there was never a sense of panic.  It may or may not have been a priority for those women but I sort of think you should date with intention in your 20s.  At least that is what I plan to advise my own children.[/quote]

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