Reply to Dating someone who cheated on their spouse

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Would you date someone who admitted to a failed marriage due to cheating? This is someone who is good-looking with a good career and appears to be a good parent. But loss of love/X led to cheating. Not sure if this is worth exploring further. [/quote]

I don’t judge as harshly as I did when I was younger, having an affair after 25 years of marriage where the previous eight had no warmth or affection is a lot different than sleeping with an Applebee’s hostess when your wife is on bedrest.

I’d have to ask more questions about what the relationship was like in the years leading up to his cheating, his cheating could’ve been an absolute relief to his wife, maybe she didn’t have the courage to end the relationship without citing some major offense, she could have purposely withheld affection and emotional intimacy to isolate and drive him away. Ask more questions then make the call. [/quote]

We can agree to disagree.  Deal breaker for me.  Cheating has been a deal breaker since I was a teen in HS until now as a 53-year old married 25-years.

Lying and cheating, and all the things you need to do to carry out an affair behind a spouse's back: unforgivable. But, I would address the 'no warmth or affection'.  Marriages have stages.  Raising kids and both working can cause couples to lose that closeness, get off track...I'm not going to go out and bang a stranger because of it.  I also had a lot of healthy, happy, functional marriages as role models--and outright told by my parents and older siblings when I was blissfully engaged: marriage can be hard, there may be times you can't stand to be in the same room-you won't believe this now--but you get through it and a long marriage has peaks and valleys.  Each peak after a valley--higher than the rest. My parents happiest times were empty nest/retirement they told me.  They traveled like crazy and seemed like newylweds.[/quote]

How about if your spouse is an addict (and abusive and nasty when under the influence which is 75% of the time)- how about if your spouse cannot cope on their own so you stay with them not to shatter their world and watch them crash and lose all hope of possible recovery (stay out of loyalty since youve been together since teenagers).[/quote]

And what if pigs fly and cows sung. You cheaters will think of anything in the world to jusitfy cheating. You are not loyal if you are cheating. [/quote]

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