Reply to Dating someone who cheated on their spouse

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I’m married to a Dh that is abusive. He’s toxic and a true narcissist. You all can hate all you want, but I decided to stay put until my kids graduate from high school. This has given me time to get back into the workforce and work on building my career so I have a good exit strategy. Kids are not aware of his abuse.    In a divorce my Dh would have used the kids as pawns. Im in therapy and it keeps me strong and mentally focused.

I’ve stepped out on him. I have needs and sometimes I just want to be held. I have one more year to go. Flame away. Idgaf. [/quote]

I’m the “black and white” poster and just want to say I’m sorry, I have zero judgement for you, and hope you get a beautiful life on the other side of this. Your situation is exactly what I mean when I say some situations aren’t black and white. Your abusive, toxic husband is the jerk. Not you for needing to be held.

Again, for those who are going to call me a cheater for supporting this PP, I’ve never cheated and deeply love my husband. I just know that not everyone is in a caring kind marriage, and they still deserve to feel love. [/quote]

❤️ Thank you. You have no idea how much I needed to hear this. I never imagined my life like this. 
The world is a better place with you in it.

[/quote]

Word of warning: if you get caught your life will explode like you cannot even fathom. And if the person you are cheating with also has a family---the implosion is going to be triple-fold.

I don't think doing other harmful things (because your actions are harmful to all of those on the periphary--OM's spouse/kids, your own kids, etc, etc.) are ever a good idea to manage a bad situation.  In those instances, therapy, friends and doing things you love (which aren't boning ppl outside your marriage) are the route to take.[/quote]

Agree. Abusive men don’t really handle discovery of their wive’s cheating very well. Really incredibly not smart move. The next Dateline episode…[/quote]

“And up next on tonight’s episode of Dateline, the story of a murdered woman who really had it coming to her by her abusive husband. She going out the hard way that it’s her responsibility for keeping her husband’s hands off the kitchen knife.”[/quote]

Nobody said she had it coming, dummy.  Just said cheating is stupid and against a know abuser is essentially a death wish.
 
Leave. Period.

I was in a toxic marriage and it never o cured to me to go drown my sorrows in another man’s bed.  I was too busy planning how to get kids out and working. 
[/quote]

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