Reply to Broke due to child support and alimony

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Broke due to child support and alimony "

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The old saying is, “It’s cheaper to keep her.” [/quote]

But you only get a 50% say in that. She can leave (and get cash and prizes for doing so) no matter what you want.[/quote]

No one wants to get a divorce.  She doesn’t get cash and prizes.  She also loses half of her retirement and access to your entire household income.

The only way a woman would come out financially ahead in divorce vs remaining married would be if her husband was hoarding money away and denying her access to it.

[/quote]

How does she lose half her retirement? Marital retirement assets are split 50/50.

She [i]should [/i]lose "access to your entire income" but instead she gets a disproportionate share of it under the fig leaf of "child support".

It is undeniable that women benefit financially from divorce, otherwise women (who are not stupid) would not initiate 75% of divorces.[/quote]

Okay.  If you want to say that splitting assets 50/50 means that no one loses any of their savings or retirement accounts, then I will agree with you.  [b][Both his and hers savings and retirement accounts are added up and divided by two. If they are not already exactly equal then money is transferred so that they are. This means the high earner will lose money and the low earner will gain money. Most of the time this means the man gives money to the woman.][/b]

And she went from having access to 100% of your income to 25% of it or whatever, depending on the situation.  So it’s LESS.  
The only way women have access to more money post divorce is if they didn’t have access to a large portion of marital money while they were married.  [b]["Access" is irrelevant. As a wife are you actually spending 100% of his income, or even 25%? How much of the money that the married man puts into the joint account does the wife actually spend? I bet it's a lot less than 25%. And when you're married, the money is spent on specific agreed-upon things like the mortgage and day care, it's not like the husband gives the wife $X a month to spend on whatever she wants. On the other hand, after a divorce the man gives the woman money and there is really no accountability whatsoever that she's actually going to spend it on the kids. In that sense she is better off financially than when she was married.][/b]

Right now, my husband makes $20k/month and I make $10k/month.  I don’t know the rules on child support and alimony, but let’s say that we split the kids 50/50 and he has to pay me $5k/month.  
Now, I have to run my household on $15k/month when I used to have access to $30k/month.  [b][If your "access" means you can spend his $30k a month on whatever you want, and he has no say in the matter at all, then that's great but I bet that's not how it works. You're better off having $5k to do whatever you want with than "access" to $30k where he can veto what you spend it on.][/b]

The only way it’s a financial advantage to me to have $15k/month instead of $30k/month is if I didn’t actually have any say in how money was spent when we were married or a large portion of it was locked away.

[b][When you're married you have to agree how the money is spent. When you're divorced you decide for yourself. The whole reason people hate child support is you give money to someone else and you have no control over how it is spent, despite the ostensible rationale that it's "for the children".][/b]

[/quote][/quote]

I spend a lot more than 25% of his income.  Why would it be less?
Yes.  A lot of it goes to things like the mortgage and kids clothes and food and activities.  But it’s not like those expenses go away post divorce.

Yes.  I can spend our money however I want in order to keep our household running.  Sure, there are some major expenses that we agreed on, like the house, but he doesn’t micromanage my day to day spending or veto what I spend it on.  (*If I was such a horrible person that I was cheating and wasn’t going to use the money to take care of my children, what would I care about his veto anyway?)

I do think that you and I are on the same page that this makes sense as a financial advantage only if one partner was using money to control the other. The place where we don’t agree is that you seem to think of this as a typical marriage, and it isn’t.

[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics