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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I have read this whole thread with interest. What worries me is the lack of compassion from the other parents for the OP. 
I wish the OP had been more transparent bc yes, there is a huge difference between rape/racist incident/assault and a drug infraction or rule breaking. We don't know how big or small the offense may have been.
   I think the real issue is if your child did something really bad- bullying, assault, racist act. I would not be worrying about college and instead be looking at psychological counseling and a gap year that helps build character.
   If the offense was truly small, then I am with the group that says find a college counselor to advise you on how to go. I do think the school is trying to help you by letting you withdraw so you could simply say he had to withdraw and go online and don't elaborate...but get professional advice. I do know a kid from our Big 3 who was forced to withdraw a a junior  for what I see a not huge drug offense (involving pot)  a few years ago.   He was suicidal and hospitalized- felt like his future was destroyed.  It took him a few years to recover and ended up in college but the punishment did not fit the crime. 
  Since we don't know the details of your case, I want to be kind. If your kid did indeed so something really bad that hurt someone else please get them the help they need.[/quote]

Having compassion does not mean that you shelter people from consequences or hard truths.  Trying to cover up or lie about a problem is not how adults should handle things.  If the student got drunk or high and was kicked out, most schools would treat an honest letter kindly.  Other things, maybe not, but it is always better to show that you have learned from your mistakes.[/quote]

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