Reply to I hate “guy trips”

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]A woman would be excoriated if she came home from a girls’ trip too hungover and exhausted to deal with the kids. Tell him to suck it up. The trip is fine. But when it is over, it is over. [/quote]

Yes, this is the issue, I think. It’s not the 3 days. It’s that he makes it 10 days of nonparticipation without acknowledging it or getting spouse on board.[/quote]

Correct. A lot of PPs above (men who want their own guys' trips, I suspect) are ignoring the fact that the real problem isn't the trip itself, it's that he comes home and is a hungover mopey baby for days afterward, recovering because he can't drink like an adult when he's away.

OP, I'd schedule utterly un-cancel-able things for which he has to be responsible so he has to suck it up and take a kid to, say, the dentist at 8 a.m. on that first morning back because YOU are busy. I'd have stuff of my own scheduled so he has to be the one getting the kids up and off to school. And I wouldn't be passive-aggressive about it -- I'd tell him point blank that family life goes on whether he's hung over and grumpy or not, and if he can't drink like a grown-up, that's his issue to figure out, not his issue to bring home with him. [/quote]

I often wonder if people like you are actually married or, if so, happily. Who schedules an 8 am dentist appointment for the kid the day after their spouse returns from a weekend away just to stick it to them?[/quote]

DP - I agree.  On top of that, the lack of self awareness of the previous PP is pretty stunning.  She proclaims that she "wouldn't be passive-aggressive" about it, but also says that she would "schedule utterly un-cancel-able things for which he has to be responsible so he has to suck it up and take a kid to, say, the dentist at 8 a.m. on that first morning back because YOU are busy. I'd have stuff of my own scheduled so he has to be the one getting the kids up and off to school."

[b]That is the definition of passive-aggressive. [/b] [/quote]

So true[/quote]

Also, in what universe is a dentist appointment for an elementary schooler "un-cancel-able?"  [/quote]

It's a recent trend in pediatric dentistry. You are charged for canceling or not showing up. Our kid's Alexandria dentist started instituting this and we switched to a different one.[/quote]

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