Reply to are 3+ kid families becoming more common?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Looking at everyone I know, I’d guess it is like this:

50% 2 DC
25% 3 DC
20% 1 DC
5%  4+ DC

I also know an absolute ton of couples that are childless by choice, or single people who never married or want to marry.

Most of the families I know with one DC didn’t plan on just one (for those who have said)…more commonly fertility issues or divorce/single parent.

A lot of the families with 3+ are due to an “oops”. I had a friend who had an oops #3 that turned into 3 & 4! twins. LOL.

I’d still say 2 seems to be the default.

[/quote]

Agree that a LOT Of the 3+ kid families are oops babies, or include multiples. I know two families that had oops triplets. [/quote]

How on earth would you not have figured out how fertility and birth control work after having two kids? I suspect many of the people claiming #3 was an oopsie intended to have 3 all along and just need a way to justify it. [/quote]

A thing that has happened to a number of women I know is that they get lax about birth control because they are older and think they can't get pregnant anymore. I think sometimes all the fear mongering about fertility wraps people's perspective and they assume that if they are over 35, the odds are too low. Especially if they had any trouble conceiving.

Several of the oops babies I know of have a big age gap with the next youngest child. The parents were probably initially on top of birth control, but may have assumed "eh, I'm over 40, what are the odds?" Without looking to see that actually the odds are much higher than zero, especially if you've successfully conceived before.[/quote]

Yes this was us.  I was 45 and laughed when my ob suggested birth control because we had done ivf in our thirties.  We are thrilled with our surprise baby who miraculously has had no health issues so far and we had spent quite conservatively on our house so we feel fortunate but definitely stretched!  Weirdly it’s made life easier because it takes lots of options off the table (travel sports, private school, etc)[/quote]

It's a surprise, but not an oops. People who say "oops!" come across like they don't understand how babies are made.[/quote]

This seems weirdly pedantic.  Given her age and reproductive history, PP had ample reason to consider herself infertile.  Is it not an oops if a condom breaks?  Or if a breastfeeding mom gets pregnant on the mini pill?  Presumably people in these situations know how babies are made.[/quote]

Yes, those are both an oops. It's not hard to understand that condoms break, so track your ovulation and double-up on protection. It's not hard to understand that if you are breastfeeding, pills might not work, so double-up on protection if you really don't want to get pregnant. [/quote]

I don't consider those an oops. It's not trying but not preventing. But I think people think it's cute to say "oopsie!". But it makes you look not very smart.[/quote]

Using birth control and/or condoms is definitely "preventing" and many people would view their failure as an "oops." But anyway, people are being very pedantic about terminology in this thread. Maybe your pill failing while BFing isn't an "accident" because it's known to happen, but it's unplanned. Getting pregnant at 45 because you skipped BC due to your history of infertility is unplanned. Being willing to accept the risk of twins that comes with fertility treatments for a shot at one baby is unplanned. That's the point people are trying to make--that in their circles, the third kid may not have been an "accident" in the most literal sense and maybe isn't even a super unexpected result of your actions, but it's not planned. [/quote]

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