Reply to Sofia Vergara and Joe Manganiello divorce

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Sofia confirmed in People magazine that they divorced over having kids.[/quote]

they didn't discuss this before they married? [/quote]

I’m sure they did, but people change their mind over this all the time.

Hello Jon Hamm.  Hello Ashton Kutcher

This has always been a known risk when a much older woman married a much younger man.

I was not surprised at all. In fact, I assumed this would happen.[/quote]

Sofia is only 4 years older than him. That’s not a big gap at all. [/quote]

It's not a big age gap for two people with similar backgrounds. She had an adult son and had been married before and knew what it meant to be a parent, what it meant to be married, what both of these things mean over time, well after the wedding. Even though he was only 4 years younger than she was, he had far less life experience.

So for her to say "I don't want more children," this was a very informed choice that she was likely very firm on and understood the implications of. For him to say he didn't want kids... this was likely more of an in-the-moment feeling, having fallen in love with this great woman, having fun working and traveling and having the money and access to do it in a really enjoyable way. He probably genuinely did not want kids when he said that. But it wasn't informed by much. He didn't know what it was like to be 5, 6, 7 years into a marriage, when it's not enough to just be very attracted to your partner (and when attraction tends to wane even if they are as hot as ever). He didn't know, as she did, what a deep relationship with your child can look like and how it can enrich your life. Probably one of the things that changed his mind was seeing Sofia with her son year after year, as they are very close and seem to have a great relationship. I think it would be hard to be around that and not think "I wish I had a relationship like that with someone." He just didn't know.

Four years is nothing if you are both in your 20s or early 30s, everything is on the table (in terms of the possibility of having kids), and you have similar relationship backgrounds and either both have kids or neither have kids. But their relationship was very unequal in terms of life experience and I think that probably made it doomed. Likely he settled into the relationship, got antsy, and this is when people who aren't interested in cheating start thinking "maybe I do want kids after all." Because life is long and there are only so many place you can travel and eventually you want a different kind of experience. She'd already had it, he hadn't, it makes sense they split so they could both be happy. Tough for her though because it can be so hard at her age to find a guy like that who really adores you and likes what you like. He can remarry and have kids and get everything he wants. She may need to content herself with being single or serial monogamy, which is too bad because she seems great and also like she wants a true partner.[/quote]

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