Reply to Can anyone please explain the mindset of parents who allow “failure to launch”?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Most cultures have inter generational homes and don't consider it "failure to launch." Also, you don't have as much control over your kids as you think. Your kids may end up a big mess no matter what a great job you did raising them. What are you going to do then, kick them to the curb?[/quote]

Many cultures who do this are a mess. People should be able to be independent or at least contributing to their own livelihood for half of their life at least. [/quote]

What cultures are you referring?  The US was like this until the 1950s when the idea of the nuclear family (mom, dad and 2.3 kids living on their own) took on a life of its own.

You now read stories of the family “compound” coming back because the cost of housing, childcare and elder care is so expensive.

Usually, this is parents building an ADU where children come live, or the parents move into the ADU and the kids take over the house.  Parents able to help with childcare and know they have family close by if they have an emergency.

This set up usually doesn’t involve kids never leaving…but maybe they are single until their 30s and everyone agrees the arrangement makes a ton of sense.[/quote]

My father lived in a "family compound" like that -- several houses facing a quad. This was in the South. He left and never looked back. We never visited any of his relatives and lived as a strictly nuclear family. I really think, despite our idyllic suburban childhoods, that we missed out on a lot not having relatives around. It's just not healthy to live that way IMO. You see this all over DCUM -- the claws come out at even the slightest hint of overlapping with anyone else. Strange and pathological IMO, signs of an unsustainable society.[/quote]

We actually have neighbors in CC MD who did this.  Parents had an oversized plot and built a small house (3BR…but small) and kids moved into the main house.  Sibling bought house on the other side.  Shared backyards so it feels like one massive yard.  All self-sufficient.

They all love the arrangement. [/quote]

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