Reply to Married 14 years- Just Learned of Cheating in Year 5

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I call troll because there was no reason for him not to go along and pretend he’d been to that destination prior to the marriage.[/quote]

NP, but prior to marrying my husband, we knew all the countries to which the other had traveled. OP has been married 14 years.  If my DH suddenly remembered a trip to Mexico he’d never told me about in almost two decades together, I’d think it was suspicious.  [/quote]

DP. [b]“What countries have you been to” is not a conversation my DH and I have ever explicitly had.[/b] Married 15 years. I know where we have been together but if he—esp as an American—happened to say he’d been to Mexico I would not be surprised. I wouldn’t expect him to be either. It’s right on the continent; you could drive from here to there. And we lived long lives before we met.

Actually since the last time I was in San Diego was about 20 years ago I’m not sure I can swear whether I have been over that border or not—I assume no as it would have been post 9/11 so my passport would have been involved.

OP, though: your husband has been lying about this Every. Single. Day since this started. Mine once tried a related lie, but the attempt messed him up so badly that he couldn’t even keep it up for a full week. It has been hard enough to recover from that. Someone who lies every single day for nine plus years is just not a person you can build anything back with. I am so sorry.[/quote]

Really? I could tell you the countries my husband has been to. I bet he'd get about 85% right for me, but I've traveled a lot more. [/quote]

Off-topic but: really! His family traveled internationally when he was a kid; mine didn’t. He also did research in a region of the world where many countries are close together. I am sure he has spent time in/crossed borders between places that we have never had any reason to explicitly discuss. Debriefing the years before we met has never really been our thing, exactly.

OP, how’re you doing?[/quote]

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