Reply to Why Is the Pundit Class Suddenly So Marriage-Obsessed?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Ok, so it’s looking like the consensus on here is that marriage is bad. Especially for women. Women should go it alone. Men are bad partners who don’t pull their load and are man children. And it’s totally cool for kids to have a one parent household and that’s just as good as a two parent (even if all that science stuff says it’s not.) sounds good and let’s see where America is in 30 years.[/quote]

You're like the spouse who responds to any criticism with "I can't ever do anything right; you hate me." Marriage can be good, it can be bad. The scoldy morality police should spend more time thinking about how marriage could be made a better institution for everyone; and how to structure things so that kids in single family households don't suffer any more than they need to when marriages don't work out.[/quote]
This.  So much of the subtext us "women need to lower their standards and get married" rather than "we should make societal changes to meaningfully support marriage and childbearing."[/quote]

I think this is a chicken and the egg scenario.
No, women shouldn’t have to “lower their standards and get married”
But if they raise their standards for ACCESS to their time, love, bodies, attention so that marriage is the requirement for this rather than available at the same level through simply dating, then men will begin to shift their behaviors and attentions accordingly.
As it is, high quality men in their twenties and thirties can easily wine, dine, date, have sex with, travel with, co-habitate with any number of different women because women have allowed that under the guise of sexual liberation. But the truth is, if women locked that down, men would have to shape up in order to win the affection, attention, and partnership of a high-quality woman.
[/quote]

“Locked it down”? It sounds like you’re suggesting these women withhold intimacy as a power play.

Yeah, I don’t know about that.

Men are not idiots.

I can see the future, and if it’s populated by a ton of angry, resentful women lamenting the “failures” of men on tik tok…men will go their own way, pursue their own interests, and yes, probably avoid being tied to a misanthrope culture or critical partner who is constantly disappointed.

[/quote]

You act this is a big loss for women. It’s not. The vast majority of people want to pair up at some point in their lives, but women are much happier being single than men are. All women want is a partner with whom their life is better with than it is being alone and it’s absurd that so many men can’t meet that standard. You should be embarrassed for your sex.

(Happily married straight woman here, by the way) [/quote]

And that’s fine.

My point was that a lot of men will be fine with that sort of arrangement, as well. But because men generally are drawn to a need for sex and fun, they will probably just decide to pursue those objectives through casual dating and doing whatever activities bring happiness.

Basically we’ll see a lot more single people on the whole. Some folks will be sad about it. Men, definitely. Men die earlier from the loneliness epidemic. But for women there will be problems in other areas.

My guess is a lot of child free women will increasingly, in their late 30’s, be faced with the anxiety and uncertainty that comes with knowing they couldn’t settle down and have a child. Or maybe they won’t.

I really have no point other than marriage rates, for everyone except wealthy dual income couples, is indeed declining. That women increasingly don’t want to shoulder what they feel is an inequitable duty split in a domestic environment and so are eschewing marriage. Also, I feel like the internet and tik tok seem to be presenting marriage as an overall shtty institution and it’s helping lower marriage rates.

Who knows! But I guess we’re all in this brave new world together. As a man, I can see that marriage could be unappealing for both sexes (or however someone identifies). I know that men more frequently get stuck in dead bedrooms, so perhaps this marriage free future will work for all. Men can hang with their friends more and get more casual sex through dating apps and women can buy Gucci with all the money they save from not having kids and go to brunch and what not.[/quote]

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