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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am an only and appreciate being an only.

My kid is an only (teen) and feels the same. They are self-aware and articulate enough to sometimes say they wish they had a sibling in the summer and on vacation (but only a brother, and only close in age, as if that were possible to guarantee). They also see the positives.

Pros:
- I personally now see that I was made to be an only and am good as a parent of an only. 
- I am 90% a great mom, 90% a great wife, and 90% great at my job. Which is all great. Throw another kid in the mix...might not be the same results. 
- Finances: where we live, school district, vacations, club sports, etc... are all easier to afford and not hem and haw over. 
- My kid is independent, social but not super social, smart, resourced, and happy.

Cons: 
- My kid is an only child AND grandchild. That's nice. But not the real world. They do have local 2nd cousins the same age. 
- I worry about loneliness, both with me and my parents when they are gone and not having a sibling to experience that with. I worry about that for my child, but I hope they will have a partner and their own circle. I also see friends with siblings that make these things harder and more awful, and this isn't a one off, it happens a lot that someone has to caretaker for, financially support, argue with, or be upset by a sibling as an adult.

There is some what-if wistfulness in having an only. And simple people can be jerks about it. But all in all it's a great trade off for my family. [/quote]

I hear you. I'm an only and the idea that my parents will only have me as they get older is scary. DH is also an only. We have 2 kids but they will have no cousins (perhaps 2nd cousins but far apart in age). Neither DH or I are close to our cousins. Our parents all have multiple siblings but are not particularly close to them (they are immigrants so much of the families are abroad).

I do wish we had more people in our lives, but I recognize that I'm thinking best case scenario where we have a big happy family where everyone likes each other and gets along. It also isn't that way. And more people can mean more problems, I suppose?

I'm trying to focus more appreciating what I have instead of thinking about what I don't have (and can't get). There's always something else to want, but some things you just can't change. 
[/quote]

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