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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We are currently raising our kids in a very competitive UMC community. There’s some racial diversity but next to no socioeconomic diversity. Top 1 percent ranked public school in the national, starting price for a modest house is 1.5-2n… it’s very much a bubble. Kids are extremely involved in extracurriculars across the board and it’s a very strong community. In many ways we are happy with it but I also have this nagging feeling maybe it’s not the answer for my family and my kids. I grew up in a small middle class town where everyone made the team in HS and college was expected but community college was okay too. It wasn’t a pressure cooker environment. We were just kids and had a lot of leisure time. I went on to private school in college and experienced the uber wealthy and those from much lower incomes in my social circle as well as a lot of diversity. I think I personally benefitted from it and do well with all kinds of people. We own a second home in a rural area. My kids are 6,8 and 9. I’m considering moving there where it’s a much simpler lifestyle and not so competitive. I would love to hear what people have to say about their own experiences.  [/quote]

It's a genuinely hard question.

I grew up in both. Kind of lower middle class as a kid. Then upper middle class, wealthy by any normal standard.

Life as a regular kid is way easier and healthier as a middle class family. It just is. You're experiencing life on life's terms. You are experiencing the day in the moment. No one is expecting you to go St. Albans and Harvard. You're there. At this moment in time. You are not constantly future-oriented. You are not comparing yourself to your peers. You're alive in the moment.

When you move to a place like Chevy Chase or Bethesda or Potomac, everything becomes very future oriented. And it makes a difference. It's much more stressful. You do compare yourself to peers. You do stress about what college you might get into. High school can be incredibly stressful. A B might be devastating. Some kind of rejection from a peer group can be overwhelming.

But on the other hand, being in a UMC/well-to-do community and school offers opportunities that you are not going to get at a rural or lower income community. It might be peers. You know, smart and motivated kids. It might be classes. You've messed up if you have a STEM kid, and your rural or low income school doesn't offer calculus. The opportunities are better when you are in an UMC community. But the stress is higher.

We ultimately chose to move from a wonderful, but pretty small and limited community on the West Coast to the DMV. For lots of reasons. None easy to make. But one of the reasons was that we sensed the kids wouldn't be prepared for a global, 21st Century world if we had remained. And it's worked out. No real regrets. Both doing really well and happy. But yeah, wish things were simpler.[/quote]

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