Reply to Husband’s female friend encroaching

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My old friend was engaged to someone like you.

I thought she was ridiculous .  I had had many opportunities to date her rich husband when he was free and single. I was not ever the least bit attracted to him, and he knew that well.

So the whole “threat” was all in her insecure head.

Needless to say, they eventually broke up.[/quote]

He broke up with the woman he was about to marry over another woman who was just a friend? Wow! Did you ever include her in the friendship or always just reach out to him and invite him out alone?[/quote]
Dp, but why would I include the spouse of my friend? Do you include all the husbands of your gfs? No? Cuz it’s only women you’re worried about? Cuz you’re insecure and controlling af?? [/quote]

Because it’s a straight couple. To show you aren’t a threat. Why do you need to constantly be around some other woman’s man while leaving her out?[/quote]

I'm not bothering to make friends with the spouses of any of my male friends to "show I'm not a threat." That's an issue with their relationship with each other, not an issue of mine. I doubt I can really control whether or not some wife thinks I'm a threat, and even if I could I don't have the energy or time or inclination to go around addressing other people's insecurities. And I don't need any more friends, I barely have time for the one's I've already got -- male and female and non-binary.

FWIW, I've been married a few years now and my DH has multiple female friends he's known longer than he's known me. They meet up for dinner, text, and whatever else friends do to catch up with each other periodically, and I'm more than fine with it; I'm glad he has good friends he's known forever. [/quote]

You don't sound strongly bonded with your husband.  Note, that is not at all the same thing as being jealous.  You seem like you don't have strong attachments and don't understand why others would want them.  Was your father or mother an alcoholic?[/quote]

I'm very strongly bonded with my DH. He's the love of my life and I'm his and we have a stronger marriage than almost every married couple I know. But thank you for your concern, though, lol.

You sound like you don't have healthy attachments at all, given your weird assessment of mine based on the fact that my DH has a few female friends and I'm not drooling with fear over it.  [/quote]

You say your husband frequently goes out to dinner with his female friends without you.  Those are dates, sweetie.  You're just doing the same sort of thing though.  You're emotionally disengaged from each other.   Pretend all you like, you are only fooling yourself.   [/quote]

DP: My DH frequently goes out with his guy friends without me. Are those dates, sweetie? Am I fooling myself, and he’s gay? [/quote]

Same reason it's the fault of an "encroaching woman" and not a man making a choice to stray. Insecure women only see other women as the enemy![/quote]

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