Reply to Raise your hand if you're a woman who out-earns her husband

Forum Index » Money and Finances

Reply to "Raise your hand if you're a woman who out-earns her husband"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Sure, but the problem in the scenario that you describe is these lower-earning husbands are not contributing to the household more than, or even equal to the higher-earning wife. It’s not the money inequality that bothers me - it’s the household work (including mental load) inequality that bothers me.[/quote]

I was literally quoting from a scenario that I described where that was specifically not a concern, yet resentment was still rearing its head.

[b]“He earns less, but isn’t particularly driven in his career and prioritizes being a good and present father which is awesome. It works out well since we balance each other out. Sometimes it gets to me though and I wish he’d be more driven or earn more. Sometimes it feels like all the pressure is on me to achieve the type of lifestyle I’d like to have one day & the harder I work the more he’s come to rely on my earnings.”
[/b][/quote]

DP ..but for most women that’s not reality. Most men don’t take the mental load/invisible work from women.

I dated someone for three years in my 20s who was not ambitious. We realized we weren’t a good match as we both grew resentful of each other for wanting different things from life (there were other reasons too). We parted ways and I married someone who had goals similar to mine, among other things, and I think/hope the same is true of my former boyfriend. Some of these scenarios remind me of our dynamic. I don’t know what advice to give to OP…you can’t change someone. I know some people are making light of this but I do think OP might benefit from speaking with someone and maybe some joint sessions with a therapist. How she feels is valid and how her husband feels is valid. [/quote]

And this is exactly why you discuss goals in life, money, career goals, family goals, etc when you are dating and before you get married.  You cannot change someone who is not ambitious, and if that is important to you, then you shouldn't marry someone who isn't.  Much easier to be married to someone with similar goals.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics