Reply to WWYD? Being asked NOT to bring a new spouse and children

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]How old are the kids and was there an affair? I think generally the advice in these situations is to invite everyone and let them decide. If that means nephews won't go, that is on them. But the answers to my questions could change all of that. [/quote]

They were teenagers. It was a very painful divorce. They are now 24, 21 and 19. My exSIL has moved on, I felt she was always the bigger person.[/quote]

You didn't answer---was there an affair? Was your brother "at fault" or was your exSIL the main issue?   IMO that matters, also how long has it been since the divorces/separation.

[/quote]

She says it’s been 5 years. That’s really all we need to know .[/quote]

No, if the new wife was his AP or if the dad was abusive to their mom, or heck even if he had an affair, the kids are not required to "just like what their dad is up to now" even if it's been 5 years.  
Circumstances surrounding the divorce matter a ton!
[/quote]

Whether or not the kids choose to come is up to them. No one says they should go to the party or deny they might be justified in sending regrets; but they aren't the ones having the party, so they don't get to choose the guest list.[/quote]

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