Reply to How to handle? Tough-to-coach kid with a family tragedy

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I would cut her and sleep like a baby. Everyone has stuff they are going through. If there is a standard and she doesn't meet it then she should be cut. If there is some discretion then you can be kind. But it's fine if the kid gets cut. Sometimes you get dealt a bad hand. [/quote]

Yeah. It's not ok to make everyone suffer to make one person who sounds toxic and disruptive, to avoid facing reality. Cutting her from the team is not killing her. So coach should do what is best for the team.[/quote]

Make everyone suffer?   These are not a bunch of Michael Jordans.    They are 11 year olds guaranteed that most of them play like 11 year olds.  So dramatic.   [/quote]

tbh, this a good point of clarification.

OP says its a competitive team.  Many posters are reacting as if its rec.

Bc at 11, on a competitive travel team, there are going to be VERY talented players.  If its a good team, they won't be playing like 11 year olds.  They could be playing good enough to beat some JV HS teams.

That matters.  Bc if you add the girl, and she just sucks for 4 months, that's not much of a kindness[/quote]

It's not a competitive team, it's a team coached by dad (so at least one of the players is there due to nepotism) who thinks he is going to turn it into a competitive team this year. There are some adults with big egos that are turning kids sports into toxic environments.[/quote]

I'm the OP - and I appreciate the responses! thank you!! - but to clarify, there's not some self-aggrandazing dad who's suddenly changing the competition level. [b]The league switches from "everyone makes it" to a new level, where tryouts and cuts happen on a larger scale.[/b][/quote]
Ah, so your DH now has "power" over these girls and their families? Whatever, OP. DH should not cut this poor girl. And I can't believe that there are actually parents who dissent. This is not a complex moral dilemma. Be kind.[/quote]

It’s definitely more complex of a moral dilemma then you’re making it out to be.

Keep the girl to avoid more trauma to her but inflict suffering on 10 other girls (and not insignificant suffering on the girl whose spot she took).

Cutting the girl and inflicting more suffering on this girl but sparing the other 10 the suffering.

It’s not simple. And I think the people that do think it’s simple have never had a kid who lives & dies by a certain sport be cut from a team or be saddled with a difficult teammate. 
[/quote]
Are you for real? Your kid getting cut from a team is no where in the same category of suffering as an 11-year old losing her mother! For the love of God. [/quote]

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