Reply to Would you confront your husband/wife's Emotional Affair lover?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think you would be surprised if you knew who was really cheating. Count as me as another wife who was cheated on - no one would ever imagine what we went through. [b]We seem like a perfect happy couple and actually, we are now[/b]. But when the whole cheating thing was blowing up, we presented normally and didn't tell hardly anyone. Really you'd be shocked. [/quote]

Was it also a physical affair?  How in the world did you get through this?  How can you ever look at him the same way?  I hear these stories about "my marriage is so much better because the affair made us realize we needed to communicate better", blah, blah, blah, but that is a hell of a way to realize you need to communicate better.  Not saying I would definitely divorce if my husband fooled around, but it would just make me sick to know he was in bed with another woman and I could never completely trust him.  [/quote]

Well in my case it was a one night stand, which is why I say cheating and not an affair, per se. But seriously - when you have kids, and you've been married for years, and you can admit to yourself that your marriage had become routine and that there were things you too could have worked on, it's not always such a great idea to walk. It's not like divorcing the father of your preschoolers is going to be easy and fun. That choice sucks too. So for me, I looked at my two crappy choices and I gave my husband a year to prove that he wanted to stay and to prove that he was devestated and remorseful. And he did, and I stayed. I still think about it a lot and it is still incredibly hurtful, but I know that for my own situation, divorce would not have been the "better" choice.

Now if we didn't have kids, I'd probably have left. [/quote]

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