Reply to Would you confront your husband/wife's Emotional Affair lover?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OW here.  Why I didn't think he was insincere?  I was friends with him for 12 years.  It was a really vulnerable and scary time in my life and I had real feelings for him that stemmed from a long friendship. I just didn't want to think he'd do that w/o real feelings too. That's also why I never let it go to a physical affair. For some reason on my mind that meant we were not crossing the ultimate line.

As for the guilt factor, it would probably make me feel worse not better bc I'd actually have to see/hear her hurt. [/quote]

What happened with you guys? Did you break it off? Is he still with his wife? Did he want it to get physical?[/quote]

We broke it off pretty much immediately, which was painful.  We've not really spoken since, except maybe 2-3 emails checking in to see how we're doing with our respective spouses.  That was about 6 months ago.  They are still together.  And I am still with my DH.  We both wanted to get physical, but didn't because we refused to take it that far, but we talked about it.  [/quote]

Sorry to keep hounding you but since I'm a DW who chose not to confront the OW your perspective is appreciated! What do you mean broke it off immediately - did one of your spouses find out ("D Day" in infidelity speak)? Do both spouses know, or just his?[b] I have read that an EA for a woman is much more dangerous - once the wife decides she is out of the marriage and has an emotional connection with someone, she is really done with her husband[/b], whereas men are more apt to get out of the "fog." Do you still love your DH?
[/quote]

I can see this because in general, women put a much higher premium on emotional connections than men.[/quote]

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