Reply to Husband wants to move out of DMV but my job is here

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I hate this phrase but I think it fits: seems like this is a prelude to "conscious uncoupling." I'd say let him look for a cabin to buy as a second home and spend more and more time there. You join him for the remote month in the summer and a couple of weekends a month.

You don't give up your home, your job, or the kids' lifestyle. Legitimately look for a remote job that isn't a big paycut, investigate the schools and medical care in the rural area. Make an effort to make friends there.

And then just sort of see what happens. You might find a great job and find you want to move with your husband. Or you might find that you both prefer being apart and you come to an amicable agreement and split up the properties and the kids have a great place to visit during the summer.[/quote]

This is a good idea.

I think posters are being too hard on OP: If "dh" was a woman who made less, like me, she would be told to suck it up until retirement or divorce and see how she likes her new decreased standard of living.

I have accepted that my dh is the main wage earner, and we need to stay in the dc metro to make that happen. We've tried to compromise to make life here easier for me, a person who hates crowds. We have also lived in a rural area as well, and there are compromises to be made in rural places as well that don't even involve salary. To make it work here, I have gone on an antidepressant and also go to therapy to help deal with the anxiety. I also telecommute, so I won't have to deal with local rush house traffic, and we occasionally take days off in the middle of the week so we can enjoy parks or other sites without the crush of people on the weekends.

In OP's case, she is the main wage earner and her dh is not, so compromises need to be made for them both, but especially for him. There is no way she should give up her higher paying career to follow him to a rural area, unless she can eventually change to full time remote. [/quote]

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