Reply to Parents of 3- do you wish you’d stopped at 2 or 1

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]As a parent of two, I consider a third because I think having more kids diffuses competition and self centeredness among overly coddles two children families.

My husband is one of two and his sister, although nice, is one of the most vain and self centered (and spoiled) people I’ve met. I 100% believe this outcome is a result of my in laws providing too much intense attention and coddling.

In general people I know from bigger families are close with their siblings and learned early how to exist amongst other people.

[/quote]

Hmm, how many people from big families do you know? I know some large families like you describe. I also know large families where one or more of the siblings is as bad or worse than you describe your SIL. I know large families with intense "golden child", "scapegoat", and "overlooked middle" problems. I know large families where the siblings are intensely competitive, either altogether or in small groups (two sisters out of four kids who are intensely competitive, for instance). Again, I also know large families who are happy and get along great, but there's definitely no guarantee that having more kids will result in that dynamic.

I also know plenty of families with 1 or 2 kids that are healthy and happy with great dynamics, and others that are highly dysfunctional.

My takeaway is that number of kids will not result in the "correct" family dynamic. I think it comes down to parenting, personalities, and also probably a lot of external factors like stress, support from extended family, etc.[/quote]

Most large families are full of drama, especially as the kids grow. It is intense competition for attention, affection and resources of the parents and the fact that you are forced to live with many people you did not choose and that you may not like at all.

Just look at the Family forum, sibling relationships are more often fraught than not. Large families only serve the needs and wants of the parents.[/quote]

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