Reply to BIL/kids visiting for Thanksgiving; grandparents don’t want to bow out to a hotel

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think you should squeeze everyone in together.  My favorite memories of my childhood were the holidays when all my cousins and aunt and uncle and grandparents all stayed in the same house.

We did this often with my dad's side of the family and never with my mom's.  Consequently, I'm significantly closer to my dad's side of the family. There is a level of bonding that happens when people sleep under the same roof that just can't be otherwise replicated. [/quote]

Don't you think OP considered that first and realized it wasn't a good idea based on their space constraints? Some people don't want to just "squeeze in", that's not how I was raised and I would feel uncomfortable.[/quote]

Don’t host people if your house is not spacious enough to accommodate them to your satisfaction. It is rude to invite grandparents and then change the plans and send them to a hotel because you invited more people than you have space for. Also rude to prioritize a cousins and yet to be met fiancé over grandparents enjoying the rare chance to see all their grandkids together.

If I were the fiancé, I would find this situation very uncomfortable.[/quote]

Oh, so when BIL called and said hey, can I join you guys for Thanksgiving, OP and DH should have said “No, spend it by yourselves. We don’t want you out here, you don’t fit.” Happy holidays, eh?[/quote]

What they should have said is “That’s great! Our house is full, but I’ll send you a list of close hotels.”[/quote]

Some of us don’t run our family by Policy. We are flexible and take circumstances into consideration. My SIL and her family live in California, and any time they are willing to fly to us, spending thousands and taking extra time off work, we recognize the effort and expense and make it work. Luckily my ILs feel the same way—after all, it is a chance to see their grandkids without them having to spend thousands and sit through a long-haul flight. But hey, if you want to cut off your nose to spite your face, go for it.[/quote]
Hmmm… I live thousands of miles from family and when I travel I’m
Sure I can afford the travel and accommodations [/quote]

Interesting that you lack the imagination to realize that not everyone has that kind of disposable income but would still like to see family.[/quote]

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