Reply to Friend group is blowing up due to rift between teen girls

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I have been tight with about six other moms since Kindergarten. Our girls have always been close. Moms genuinely close too. But I know it's always a danger to meet through kids - though I thought our friendship transcended this. I was maybe naive.

My DD has begun pulling away from one of the girls in the group. It is not personal. They have different interests. However, my DD is seen as a "cool" girl because she is sporty, and the other girl is more artsy and creative. Well apparently, there was a text spat between the girls - or some kind of misunderstanding - where the former friend wanted to hang out with DD and her new friends and my DD said no. The girl became incredibly upset, left school early, came come in tears, and the mom -- my friend -- got mad at me for allowing my DD to "drop" and bully her child.

I saw the texts and immediately talked to my own DD. My DD should have and could have been kinder in declining hanging out. But she wasn't bullying. She was excluding. But they just don't have anything in common and she does not really like this girl. But now the other mom is asking our friends to pick sides, complaining about my DD to our mutual friends, and wants to invite me to drinks to discuss what to do going into the new year.

I just feel sick over this whole thing and have zero desire to get involved in my child's social life in this way. I also do not want to raise a mean girl, but I think my kid should be able to drift from friends as a relationship ages out without repercussions. Anyone BTDT? I do still like the mother but this is putting a strain on our longtime circle.[/quote]

Does she not like the other girl or is it just differences in activities? Because you say both and seem to be justifying your DD's behavior. And sorry you can't describe your kid as "cool" and say you have not interest in her social life. LOL.

Your DD was being a B--ch and you know she was. She was unkind and excluding a friend. She is entitled to not hang with her former friend, who she is obviously too cool for (and you seem to be relishing that). But she shouldn't also act like her former friend isn't also entitled to reasonably be hurt by being excluded.

You're kid is on the path to be a jerk. And you seem to be ok with that. Fine. But regarding the other mom, her mistake is trying to talk to you about it (that is always the mistake b/c the mean girl moms never acknowledge their kid is mean). You want things to be normal despite how your kid is acting. You want normal w/o any consequence and that is not a reasonable expectation. That's not how it works. And you and I would be done. And frankly, you seem to be upset that she's talking to the other friends about the situation and causing strain . . . kind of ironic isn't it? Given you're ok with your kid doing the same?[/quote]

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