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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]No, not enough to by a house, but I thought it was generous. I gave them $1000.[/quote]

Good grief,  just do what I"ve seen "Ask Amy" etc. recommend. Ask her, "Sally, I wanted to be sure you and Bob received the check I sent. I'd hate to think it went astray. Did you receive the $1,000? I didn't get any note about it from you so I just wanted to check in." Done. She will, if she's a decent person, feel ashamed she didn't acknowledge it, and you will have said your piece without being a b***h about it and burning family bridges forever. [/quote]

I HATE this. This is some passive, probably misogynist bull crap. Ask Amy is WRONG.

If you want to tell your niece you’re upset that you didn’t get a thank you note, TELL HER. DO NOT MAKE UP STORIES TO AVOID SAYING WHAT YOU MEAN. Jeez. [/quote]

I agree with this to an extent. You can see if the check was deposited so it is silly ask of she got it. That is passive aggressive. That said, I don't think any good comes from telling her you were offended not getting a thank you note.Did she used to send thank you notes? Has it been a year? Did she thank you at the event? Do you have a close relationship? I would not risk harming a close relationship with a guilt trip over a check. Just figure out next time the amount that won't make you so angry if you don't get a note. I agree the proper thing to do is send, but maybe it was lost in the mail. Maybe she has a life stressor you don't know about. Assume the best!

I always write thank you notes and do all the social niceties. I was truly hurt when major stress hit my life-think husband hospitalized and almost died and that sort of thing....and relatives, even my own mother were so quick to flip out if I messed up a nicety-late with a birthday gift or thank you note or whatever. it left a sour taste in my mouth. They knew what had happened. When major stress hits, you are just trying to get through the day and be there for your loved one. Everything gets cast aside. For decades I had clearly been consistent with following their norms so to be so offended and not give me grace made me wonder about their character.[/quote]

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