Toggle navigation
Toggle navigation
Home
DCUM Forums
Nanny Forums
Events
About DCUM
Advertising
Search
Recent Topics
Hottest Topics
FAQs and Guidelines
Privacy Policy
Your current identity is: Anonymous
Login
Preview
Subject:
Forum Index
»
Family Relationships
Reply to "My niece just screwed herself"
Subject:
Emoticons
More smilies
Text Color:
Default
Dark Red
Red
Orange
Brown
Yellow
Green
Olive
Cyan
Blue
Dark Blue
Violet
White
Black
Font:
Very Small
Small
Normal
Big
Giant
Close Marks
[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I never send gifts to anyone. If I do not attend a major event like a baby shower or a wedding, I give a gift when I meet the person. The gift is usually a check in a card. (Never cash). As for the weddings of nieces and nephews, I belong to a culture where I will give a generous check for them to their parents much before the wedding. And $5,001 is the minimum amount to give to a niece or nephew. [/quote] What culture is this where $5001 is the minimum and what happens if you give $4,999?[/quote] My own family culture - kids of siblings don't get less than 5K at their marriage - most of the time we are giving 10K, 15K, 25K, 50K etc. Depends. Our traditional Hindu/Indian culture - You add the 1 to an even amount of money that you gift to make it indivisible by other numbers. Thus, it is a blessing for the couple to be indivisible too, and for the money to remain with them and grow. we normally give 11, 51, 101, 151, 201 etc in normal gifting. If you have enough money to give 4,999 then you have enough money to give 5,001 also. Of course, you can give less also as long as it is a traditional amount. I mean boorish people are there all over the world and if someone in our circle who is from the same culture and wants to give weird amounts of money then there is nothing to be done. [/quote] [b]Does your family do gifts with strings or just gifts. Is there a hidden expectation when you give someone 25k for example? If so, what are the hidden expectations?[/b][/quote] (( Replying to another post - Hmmm... then there may be a different reason 1 is added to make the number an odd number? There are certain amounts that are given. But, I have never heard of $71 or $81 being given. A mystery for me.)) The "strings attached" theory? I think, once something is given, it does not belong to you anymore. But, a non-observance of social and cultural niceties may mean an erosion of goodwill for other occasions. Family often pools resources and the obligation to look after each other is carried forth in different generations. 'A rising tide rises all the boats' etc. My dad educated his nephews after the death of his elder brother. we found out only after the death of my dad. However, all the nephews (my cousins) and their kids to this day are very warm and helpful to us. Normally, Indian parent have a religious-social obligation to raise their kids (one of the reasons to marry is to have kids and raise them properly), and pay for their education and wedding to the best of their capacity. Education (both beginning and end) and wedding are religious-social milestones that the parents need to fulfill for their kids. After the wedding, parents do not owe their kids anything more in terms of getting them to significant religious-social life milestones. In that sense, close relatives will give monetary gifts to the parents when their offspring are getting married, since parents are funding the wedding. All of this is traditional. The parents may decide to give or not give the money to their kids. Not everyone is in a position to be lavish about weddings etc. People keep an eye on their budget. No strings attached for the young couple. They are not my kids. They are my sibling's kids. They can be my siblings blessing or curse. However, there is a lot of benefit for observing the social niceties and creating a support system. Parental help, kids helping aging parents, pooling resources etc are allowing Indian families to do ok even in the modern age. In the spirit of not derailing this thread even more - yes, there is a bigger but more invisible price to pay in my circle if the people are not appreciative and do not follow social niceties. There is a silent erosion of goodwill and a less supportive network, instead of a just one miffed aunt ranting on DCUM and being called a Boomer. No one likes being taken advantage of or others' lack of reciprocity. [/quote]
Options
Disable HTML in this message
Disable BB Code in this message
Disable smilies in this message
Review message
Search
Recent Topics
Hottest Topics