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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]These threads have only reinforced the notion that ENM is anything but E and incredibly selfish and likely involving narcissism and mental illness[/quote]

I don't know anyone engaged in ENM who didn't either decide it didn't work OR later get diagnosed with bipolar, BPD, or other major issues OR they were happy content but it caused massive problems for others (the narcissists who just want what they want and don't care how it impacts others).

When I see people advocating for ENM like it's the magical solution to everything, and especially when they start trying to argue that ENM is the more "evolved" way to approach marriage, I just roll my eyes. Someone should do a study on ENM communities to show long-term outcomes, both on marriages and on any children raised by actively ENM couples. As someone who knows many ENM couples, I feel confident any such study would show that ENM is bad for long term marital success rates and especially bad for families.[/quote]

Well, marital success rates are pretty bad with or without ENM. What irritates me is people who act like ENM is some way to increase the stability of marriage (obviously not) or refuse to consider the issues with kids or uneven power differentials.

That said, I do know two couples that got together very young and seem to have done ENM successfully in their 20s as a way to keep both the relationship and ability to experiment. [b]One couple closed the relationship when they had kids and that seemed to be successful - but one of the partners later transitioned so there was obviously a lot going on. Writing this makes them sound chaotic but truly they are some of the best people I’ve met. I don’t have great insight into their family but I believe they are giving their kids a great upbringing even if nontraditional.[/b]

The other couple kept the marriage open (even after kids) and are now crashing and burning spectacularly.

So you never can tell. [/quote]

Hmm I know a couple who matches this description and I would describe one of them as a saint and the other one as a Huge Problem.[/quote]

Of course it’s possible but I haven’t seen/heard about it. [/quote]

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