Reply to If you had an affair with a married person

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "If you had an affair with a married person "

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I cheat because I don’t want to break up my marriage due to the kids. I love my DH, but I am not in love with him and I need intimacy and he refuses to provide that.

I give the married man I am with something that’s missing in his marriage. Neither one of us wants to get a divorce and we both wished that we would have met each other during different circumstances.[/quote]
Most people are like this poster. More people should simply be honest and brave and tell their spouse that they have fallen out of love and should divorce. Poster, you and your man should be proactive, leave your spouses and be together. Life is short. If you've found love and intimacy, seize it. [/quote]

The most likely scenario is she leaves, he doesn’t, she is alone and her kids hate her, he rides off into the sunset unscathed. Men and women often have very different thinking re: affairs.[/quote]

It seems in this case neither party wants to do the right thing and leave their marriage.  They want to have their cake and eat it too: the stability and history of a long term marriage and “intimacy” on the side.

How can you possibly build intimacy while you are cheating?  There are layers of lies behind everything at that point that precludes any real possibility of intimacy.  You can’t cry that your spouse won’t give you intimacy when your chosen solution was stepping out instead of marriage counselling.  I say this as someone who had an affair.  You are lying to yourself if you think it’s some sort of reasonable solution.  Just admit that it’s a maladaptive coping mechanism, don’t romanticise the relationship you have with AP.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics