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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
My "dud" child works 10 times as hard as the average smart kid to achieve the same thing. He is twice exceptional, meaning he is gifted but also learning disordered, with a few medical diagnoses to round it all off. He has an IEP and 100% extra time. Extraordinarily slow processing speed. Various weird quirks. Lethal allergies.

He needs so much hand-holding in all matters of practical life. 
Yet he has a high IQ and he's intellectually curious and decidedly academic. He knows exactly what he wants to do but has difficulty executing it.

It turns out my dud child, is not a dud. He is mentally resilient, and has learned to persist despite immense odds, starting from an accident at birth.

So he's a hero.

But people on this board will happily wave all kids with special needs into the "also-ran" category, and excoriate all families of youngsters with "invisible" special needs, because "we're coddling our kids", and we should "let them make their own mistakes", and because of us this "snowflake generation is completely incapacitated".

Once you shut out the noise of the ignorant masses, and focus on who your children really are, I don't think any of them will turn out to be duds. But you have to be observant, and compassionate, and never let them off the work ethic hook because of their needs. Know their potential, their strengths and weaknesses, and adjust expectations. Provide everything that they need to succeed. Teach them to advocate for themselves. Help them find what they're good at.

There are no duds in my family. Just variously functional people with labels like HFA or ADHD or anxiety. Some of those same people also have labels like MD and PhD, so we know that some labels are not incompatible with each other.

I think my point is: know yourself. Know your kids. Self-awareness is the greatest gift.
[/quote]

One of the few good posts here. Same as every thread on this forum, but this basically highlights how 90% of you are toxic, but 10% of posters, like the above, are compassionate, well adjusted, any genuinely happy and wise seeming human beings. [/quote]

Sorry, no. This is not what this thread is about. Working ten times harder than someone else is the exact opposite of a dud. Also being an MD or a PhD is not a dud. I have no idea why that PP even responded to this thread -- to call attention to her entire family NOT having any "duds"?

Some people are duds. That's what this thread is about.[/quote]

Umm I'm pretty sure the reason Jesus was crucified was to teach that every single person is a child of Gid. [/quote]

Jesus (Josh to his friends) abandoned a promising carpentry business at 30 to wander around with a bunch of unemployed dudes shooting off his mouth and causing trouble. Then at 33 he left and moved back into his dad's house, where's he been ever since. The ultimate DCUM dud?[/quote]

He also snuck alcohol over to his friends' houses, and spent his time surfing but couldn't even afford a board.

And failure to launch? Mother Earth kicked him out, and he came back home 3 days later. [/quote]

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