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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My 11 stands in the garage until we see the bus coming, instead of going to the stop which is probably only 50 feet away.

She's not a morning person and we let her wait for the bus as she wants.

It's not rude to want a little space[/quote]

But your daughter is coming up with a solution that affords her space without ignoring someone who is greeting her.

Also, you can say hi and still have space. You can say "Hi" and then turn to talk to your mom or get out a book to read. You can even say "Hi -- I'm going to take some space for myself, I'm just not a morning person."

Ignoring someone who says hello to you, that you know and see on a regular basis, actually IS rude, even if the reasons behind it are understandable. It's worth it to teach kids that they can set boundaries with other people without just shutting others out or ignoring them.[/quote]

In OP original post  "She stands at the top of her driveway, while my DD stands on the curb. "

Leave this girl the hell alone![/quote]

OP here... I truly mean this without any snark... but how is saying a quick "good morning" while giving her the physical space she seems to want, bothering her?  Or enough to illicit a "Leave this girl the hell alone!" response? It's not like my DD is forcing her to have a conversation or invading her personal space. 
[/quote]

OP, it's monday and the bored moms here have to take their snark out on us which they always do in very typical fashion. Ignore them. You can see it when they are saying the girl saying Hi is mean girling the freak who can't say hi back. Don't come here for real advice. [/quote]

Op here. I was pretty taken aback to hear that saying good morning while still respecting the boundaries this other girl is putting in place is somehow “mean girl” behavior.

Once when DD was a bit younger, I said hi to a neighbor I didn’t know on a walk and she said “do you know them? Why did you say hi?” I told her that was the polite, kind thing to do.

Im still at a loss at how saying hello or good morning could ever be received in a negative way. [/quote]

No one said your DD was being a mean girl; some folks thought she wasn't reading the room and her continued attempts to engage the other girl were rude.  I disagree -- I don't think your DD is being rude.  But really, no one said she was being a mean girl.

To the PP -- calling an 8 yr old a "freak" over this is not a good look.

[/quote]

I think the very very tone deaf thing that you are doing is refusing to accept that this girl could just not like your daughter without being a “mean girl “ or something like that. They are forced into proximity to even though she’s signaling clearly that she wants to not interact with your daughter and she’s not handling it ideally. I’m a parent who requires my kids to acknowledge a greeting and they are able to do so and I agree that would be generally polite. But it’s really strange that it’s April and this is still an issue- how has your child not made peace with it? If I were you I would probably encourage my child to switch to a wave or a smile or something a little more subtle if she doesn’t like saying hi into the air. And I would really really really not get worked up about it myself - it’s virtually certain she’s feeding off you and your feedback that this is very mean behavior and that is why this is still an issue [/quote]

If the other girl doesn't like OP's DD and that is specifically the reason she did not respond by saying "hi" or waving back or whatever, is actually the definition of mean girl behavior. You can not like someone and still extend them basic respect by saying hello when they say it to you.

Silent treatment and ignoring are very common mean girl tactics (I prefer the term "relational aggression" which is a lot more descriptive, plus boys do sometimes participate in this behavior). [/quote]

Op here. I’ve NEVER said anything to DD except when she has mentioned it to me … the most I’ve EVER said is “I understand it’s frustrating, but don’t worry about it too much”

Reminder that the only reason I brought any of this up is because the mom of the other girl acts like all of the other kids are unkind, without maybe knowing her kid could potentially be seen the same way.

I strongly dislike someone at work but still can muster a “good morning”. I also work in an urban area and almost always nod or say hello/good morning when I’m walking to work and the sidewalk isn’t as busy. [/quote]

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