Reply to Holding my boundary. Let him be mad.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Rigidity becomes necessary when a more causal approach leads to being chronically taken advantage of. [/quote]

OP, would Fair Play help?[/quote]

I’ve seen this mentioned a lot on this board. I think I’ll buy it.
About a year ago or so, I suggested we write down our individual loads. Like the things we own related to home kid family finances etc. we each drafted up our list and shared it.
Mine was probably 3x longer?
After he read mine, he went back to “edit” his list. He added random bs to make his list as long as mine. It was legit laughable. I’m talking about things like “manage Netflix and Hulu passwords”
“Call customer service representatives when internet is down”
“Filled out birth certificate paperwork”

Then he said the whole exercise was a farce.
A part of me hopes he doesn’t come back from this work trip. I think this often. I am not the best version of myself when he’s around. I have stayed quiet for so long to kept the peace and not risk an argument, at the expense of my inner turmoil. Today in his text rage he said that I act like taking care of “my daughter” is unbearable. Sometimes I wonder if I’m on a hidden camera show. Did I not see all these red flags before marriage? I’ve ignored my “knowing” for so long. I know I married the wrong person for me. I feel stuck.[/quote]

Calling Comcast involves being on hold for 5-30 minutes and maybe going through Level One support before you get someone that can help you.

Resetting passwords? Sometimes 30 seconds (still needs a place on to do list) other times involves sitting around waiting ten minutes for the reset email, etc.

Filling out birth certificate paperwork is also work too, even if (1) it only take 5 minutes and (2) you don’t think it’s real work.

If you’re including things like “did three loads of dishes” (each of which takes maybe ten minutes), he can include things like that. [/quote]

Hi dh! Lol. Op here. Let me clarify the point of the exercise was to list out current ongoing mental load items. Not things like filling our baby’s birth certificate application 3 years ago.[/quote]

Ok then. You have a terrible husband. Work around that or divorce him.

Nowhere in the post I’m replying to did you say, “He included stuff from years ago.” You just said “he added random bs.” [/quote]

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