Reply to How to help teen who lost all their elem-mid school friends because of rumors and bullying, canceled

Forum Index » Tweens and Teens

Reply to "How to help teen who lost all their elem-mid school friends because of rumors and bullying, canceled"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]All OP said was that her child has been subject to in person and online bullying and it was impacting their mental health, and somehow the thread became convinced that OP’s child was a bigot or a Christian fundamentalist who had harassed other kids. Why? I truly do not understand.

I am super far left and some of these comments scare me. Especially the assumption that if someone has been bullied or harassed, there MUST be a valid reason why. Here’s a short list of reasons kids in my high school got this treatment: they smelled bad (housing insecure or very poor, or lived/worked on a farm and smelled like it), unattractive or very unfashionably dressed, highly sensitive (prone to crying or emotional outbursts), being Muslim in an overwhelmingly Christian town, simply being weird or awkward. It’s insane to me, after seeing this in my own teenage experience, that you would assume the bullied/harassed kid DESERVED what happened to them. Teenagers Target and can be especially vicious to the kids who (1) seem the most different, and (2) seem the most vulnerable. That second part is especially frustrating— bullies target victims who are unlikely to fight back, get support from others, be believed, etc. this is how bullying works.

And yet you’ve all collectively decided that if OP’s child is going through this teenage hell, it MUST be their fault. This is a child we’re talking about. 13/14 years old. What the actual hell?

I am pro-choice, pro-LGBTQ+, anti-racist, and an advocate for sexual assault survivors and there is no justification for “cancelling” a 13 year old unless they committed a crime, and even then I’d urge rehabilitation efforts. If this child was expressing wrong-headed views, that’s a reason for conversations, not total ostracism.

Seriously: what is wrong with y’all?[/quote]

I am honestly so relieved to read this because it restores my faith in humanity after reading all those other posts. [/quote]

Agree.  I’m also very left.  But I’m pretty confident that I’ve said offensive things in my life.  And particularly when I was 13 and my worldview was fairly unsophisticated and  narrow.  I’m really glad I had people who talked to me and helped expand my understanding of things.  Even as adults, we are all learning, every day.  I thought that was one of the essential elements of progressive thought — the notion that Justice is a destination that we are all still moving towards.  None of us is perfect but hopefully each of us is trying to be better, day by day.  [/quote]

Well said, and something else just occurred to me that makes this thread really weird to me:

Most teenagers are really not THAT political. Teenagers are mostly worried about themselves, which is how it's supposed to be. Even if they have strong political views, the kids who are really invested in them are like 1 in 20. Maybe 1 in 10 in a place like DC that is more political generally. But the average teenager? Worried about school, friends, the new pair of sneakers their parents haven't agreed to buy, what happens after high school, whether they will get a good part in the school play or make the volleyball team.

So the idea that a bunch of teenagers shunned someone because of their political opinions just seems really unlikely. You'd need that kid to (1) have strong political opinions, (2) express them to people, (3) those people to actually care, (4) for people to remember this the next day.

It's waaaaaay more likely that a nasty rumor got started and got out of control, or the kid just got a reputation for being "weird" or too serious or not serious enough or something. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics