Reply to How to talk to 14yo about waiting to have sex

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This is why 14 year olds shouldn’t have boyfriends or girlfriends. Just say no, Mom. No dating until 16 or even 18.[/quote]

It’s cute that you think that would actually prevent them from dating. At least this way she is keeping the communication channels open. [/quote]

You actually can. You state the rules. You don’t allow your daughter to go to with a date to a dance. That simple.[/quote]

No you can’t.

[b]How does your child get to school? [/b]
Do you allow them to go for walks/runs/bike rides?
Are they allowed to go into stores alone?
Do they do extracurriculars? [/quote]

What does this have to do with rules about dating? My child either takes the bus or I drive them. Lol.[/quote]

You are an idiot.  Plenty of kids either walk to school or take public transport.  Those would all provide opportunity to a teenager who was so inclined.

So that’s what PP’s question has to do with dating.  That your kid does something different (and you really think they couldn’t use time during or around the bus?) doesn’t mean everyone is in the same position.[/quote]

Kids are not having sex on a bus or while walking to school.[/quote]

It's almost like you were never a teenager. In the park, in a car, in the woods, under the bleachers, in the high school stairwell after extra curriculars, and especially at church youth group "lock ins" were where many of my friends had their firsts.[/quote]

Gross, did you do this? At 14?? [b]I never had sex in high school and I think that’s normal? [/b] Btw, a 14 year old girl having sex in the stairwell is horrific so please don’t normalize that. You would be heartbroken if that happened to your child. [/quote]

So because *you* think it's normal that means it's normal???[/quote]

My experience was normal. Haven’t you read data on teen sex. [b]It is highly uncommon for 14 year olds to have sex.[/b] They WILL be talked about at school. It WILL be humiliating. It is NOT something I would be “open” about as a parent. [/quote]

Is that true, or false? (or just your own personal opinion, PP).

Let’s check.  Luckily, the schools track this, and compile scientific statistical evidence:

https://www.fairfaxcounty.gov/data/sites/data/files/assets/documents/youth%20survey/survey%20reports/2021_fairfax_8_12th_final.pdf

“ ranging from 2.4% of eighth‐grade students to 25.0% on of twelfth‐grade students. Male students were more likely to report having had sexual intercourse in their lifetime (12.3% compared to 11.4% of female students). ”

So, PP, if you look at 10th graders (roughly age 14) , 33% had had sex nationally (ie - in America).

Not exactly “highly uncommon.”

You are wrong.

But in local schools, it’s just 10%.  A little closer to your “highly uncommon” opinion.

Table 80. Percentage of Students Who Have Had Sexual Intercourse in Their Lifetime, by Grade, Fairfax County and U.S., 2013, 2015, 2017, 2019 and 2021
2013 FCPS USa
10th 16.1 41.4
2015 FCPS USa
13.9 35.7
2017 2019 2021 FCPS USa FCPS USa
14.1 36.2 14.3 33.6
(Values are percentages)
       FCPS USa
         Grade
      12th
38.1 64.1
34.9 58.1
34.7 57.3
Note. All percentages were calculated from valid cases (missing responses were not included).
aUS (national) data are from the Youth Risk Behavior Survey, which is conducted in odd‐numbered years only (CDC, n.d.; Kann et al., 2014, 2016, 2018). The national data are not available for 8th grade and are not comparable by gender or race/ethnicity.
‐‐ Youth Risk Behavior Survey data from the 2021 survey were not available at the time of this report.”

By the way, PP :

- in which country did you grow up?

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