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Kids With Special Needs and Disabilities
Reply to "ADHD daughter making the entire family late in the morning and I cannot stop losing it on her"
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[quote=Anonymous]OP, my childhood sounded similar to yours. I had inattentive ADHD with no help from my family. No doctors, no nothing. I was good a school but it was a struggle to get anything done. I had to stay up late to get anything done and still am like that today. My parents were like yours in that they believed in natural consequences. I had to get a taxi once because my parents refused to drive me in when I missed the bus in high school. Fast forward to now and I have a 6 year old who may have ADHD (we are in the initial stages). She is difficult, like yours. My one saving grace is that she loves the bus and hates to miss it. I had to make many changes to our routine and only sometimes have to yell. My DD typically sleeps in her clothes, I won't talk to her (she loves to talk and will chatter endlessly if we let her) until she is sitting at the breakfast table. We give her pre made breakfast sandwiches or pre made pancakes, waffles, etc. I am making her lunch while she eats (heating up premade pasta portions, because she is also a picky eater and likes a hot lunch). TV is my DD's currency so if she is dressed and ready before the bus, she gets whatever time left for Prodigy, an online math game. I can do this because we have worked very hard at telling her that she needs to follow our directions about turning off screens or all of them will be taken away. If she doesn't comply with the morning routine she already knows that the TV is gone. She also gets an allowance just for getting dressed and out the door in the morning. She loves getting money! We have gotten to the point where we have added in hair brushing., which she will do herself (I used to do it if we had time). One day I will add in tooth brushing, [quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]There are a lot of jerks posting here acting like: “Duh OP just do these 85 steps in the same exact order! Be a PARENT!” You all suck. OP, she sounds extremely hard. I would start by implementing the sleeping in next days clothes and short hair. Low hanging fruit to make this easier. Prioritize the food and bathroom issues. They don’t write parenting advice for kids like this. In previous generations, kids like this were beaten into compliance. I’m not saying that’s the solution, but let’s not pretend that standard parenting advice works for kids like this. [/quote] Thank you, OP here. I am just at my wits end. I have already cried about this today. I have ADHD. I grew up an absolute disaster. Constantly being screamed at, always misplacing assignments and never able to find anything, late for everything, anxiety, staying up late and never getting enough rest and overworking to compensate for my inability to learn concepts when they were taught in class because I could t process information that quickly. I always ran out of time on tests. Procrastinated on big assignments. Took 3x as long to finish work. I basically turned into a teenage workaholic to overcome myself and stopped getting enough sleep around age 10. My parents never got me a specialist, never talked to my doctor, never got me diagnosed or medication, and never prioritized my health sleep enough to tell my teachers I was doing hours of homework every night and crying each night over it because it was so hard for me. Somehow I still became an honors student but it was at a great cost. I am doing so much more for my DD than was ever done for me and I did not have nearly the same amount of tantrums, I didn’t attack my parents, they didn’t help me break down big tasks or talk to my teachers or make me special meals because I was picky or walk me through every step of the morning. My mom took a tough love parenting class on natural consequences and regularly let me miss the bus when I was running late. I had a panic attack once that school called an ambulance for thinking it was asthma and my mom was angry at me for it. I am trying to hard to be better for my DD and I just feel like nothing works and I have nothing left to give and no life of my own. [/quote][/quote]
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