Reply to ADHD daughter making the entire family late in the morning and I cannot stop losing it on her

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Reply to "ADHD daughter making the entire family late in the morning and I cannot stop losing it on her"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Op here. Look, I don’t want a 2 hour morning routine either. But this is how we do it because she is slow with everything and resists it. If we give her shorter amount of time things won’t get done. We give extra time for everything so she can get it done with our help and we have time to work around her resistance and distractability. We are with her every step
Of the routine.

If we don’t give her 10 minutes to poop she won’t poop at school and stool holds. Then is in a foul mood and will tantrum after school and won’t eat until she has a BM but at this point we have to give Miralax because she’s constipated.

If we give her a bar or tiny breakfast in the car it won’t get eaten and she won’t eat or drink all day and will melt down the moment she’s out of school.

Trying to incentivize doesn’t work. The incentive is always expected and she does not connect her behavior to the outcome of the incentive

Trying to create urgency doesn’t work, stresses her out, and causes her to flip out and get stressed out and scream at us.

Forcing doesn’t work because she fights us or just tries to
Make it go more slowly. Refusing to stop moving for getting hair brushed, fighting me getting her pajamas off.

No matter what we do we run up against her behavior issues. Even her therapist has said she’s kind of at a loss.

[/quote]

OP, I think you are a little defensive and rationalizing your current formula which isn't working for you. Two hours is really long in the morning, even for adults. It's fine to give her 10 minutes in the bathroom in the morning. Keep that but let's try a visual timer and constant verbal reminders. Also shrink breakfast time with smaller and faster to eat. What about oatmeal or waffles/pancakes with fruit. She will eat when she is hungry and will not starve herself to death. Pack lunches she will eat even if they are multiple smaller items or a repetitive menu. Also, you must physically dress her. She clearly cannot do it herself so stop setting her up to fail by allowing her to do it. Keep going through the tantrum and don't stop. Don't create urgency or a rewards/consequence scenario. Be matter of fact and stay on a timetable.  1 hour from wake-up to out the door. If you can't get anything to change or work, there may be another problem besides ADHD. [/quote]

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