Reply to What are the most common ways women waste their 20s?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don't know, I spent my 20s in a 7-year relationship and in the end, we didn't get married (my choice at the time, but in retrospect, he is happy since he met someone much more compatible). I learned a lot about relationships and compromise in my "quasi-starter marriage" and we were able to travel together and grow together. I don't regret it. Once i turned 30, I realized it was time to get serious about a family, so I dated a lot, met DH at 32, we dated for a couple of years, got married, and I had my kids at ages 36 and 40.

I don't think there is one recipe for your 20s. You should follow your heart, explore the world, learn about yourself and others, and be kind and open to different outcomes. Marriage and kids are not the be all and end all in life, but if it's something you really want, then focus on finding it. If not, it's ok. Things will work out.[/quote]

It’s great this worked out for you. It’s just definitely harder to meet guys in your 30s than it is in your mid twenties. And usually harder to have kids in your late thirties than late twenties/early thirties. And before anyone calls me brunch granny, I swear I’m not! Just have to know the statistics associated with waiting or not making romantic decisions sooner. Certainly you had inklings you wouldn’t marry the starter guy sooner than seven years in. [/quote]

PP here, I did have inklings but neither of us was focused on marriage until the end. We lived together in 5 cities in 4 countries, traveled more widely, supported each other through grad school, ran races together, and learned from each other a lot. We are both happily married with kids now. Just because it wasn’t a 40 year marriage doesn’t mean it wasn’t the right relationship at the time. I never would have recognized my husband as “the one” had we met earlier, and he is a true gem. I was lucky in that I got pregnant easily, but I was also willing to do IVF or adopt if it were necessary. And if I didn’t have my own kids, I would have found a different way to influence the next generation. There are so many fulfilling options in life and somehow we’re still sold this story that only one path is the true, right path. It’s simply not the case.

I came from a difficult background and I think that’s given me the confidence to roll with the punches and not take life SO seriously, because so few things are in our control.[/quote]

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