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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. Wow this blew up in an unexpected way! I have a few clarifications to make.

My son is 14 but he’s in ninth grade.

When asked if X is his gf, he said “I don’t know!” But the screensaver on his phone is a photo of the two of them so…idk, lol.

She’s been over 2x so far and he went to her house once. It’s not what I thought. I think I was worrying about something more akin to late teen dating (17/18 ish). Where the couple is obviously together, there is some mild pda (holding hands or an arm around the other, etc.), wants to be alone, etc. I was remembering what it was like when I had my first boyfriend but I was a lot older than DS.

In this case, they seem more like friends who maybe have a little crush on each other. Idk about her but I can tell my son likes her a lot. He visibly lights up around her. And it’s been causing him to mature a little: he’s much more concerned about his personal hygiene now (a relief for me, lol), he made his bed without being asked, picked up his room, used his best manners at the dinner table, etc. They do go off to watch a movie or play table tennis or VR but they also seem happy to be around the rest of us. She’s eaten dinner with us. She hangs out with his younger siblings and asks after them. She’s a very friendly, outgoing girl. I quite like her actually. We met her dad and he seems very nice and down to earth as well.

When they’re in his room, they keep the door open and DH and I make it a point to wander by on our chores just so they remember they’re not alone and unsupervised. I was sitting in the living room when she left yesterday so I was able to observe their goodbyes. They just hugged, no kiss.

[b]For everyone saying this is a problem, what am I supposed to say when he asks if she can come over? Am I supposed to say he can’t have friends of the opposite sex over?[/b] [/quote]

“You can have girls over one-on-one when you are” (insert age for the family rule).  This isn’t hard, OP![/quote]

Seems like your family rule is 14, OP. Unless you are uncomfortable, I wouldn't backtrack having her over. It's nice they are comfortable in your home and aren't sneaky. I have posted on this thread as another 14yo 9th grade boy mom, what you have described would mostly be cool at my house. Since I have an older child, we had already set a rule about the bedroom being off-limits. I would backtrack the bedroom if I were you. I think you could say "dad and I have been talking about this since it's the first time it's come up, we are happy to have Sally over, seems like you guys have fun together...these are the places we are comfortable with the two of you hanging out in the house..."[/quote]

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