Reply to feeling guilty that husband left church because of me

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Why don't you both go to mass together and try it out? What are you afraid of?[/quote]

I'm not interested in going somewhere I can't fully participate. The Eucharist is meaningful to me, so skipping a week to sit at his church like a lump when I could be worshiping isn't something I'm willing to do. I'm totally ok if he goes, though.[/quote]

Well, I see that you're just not willing to compromise or give an inch. Maybe you could go to just see what it's all about and then attend your own service. You don't believe in it so why would you want to fully participate anyway? Have you never attended a religious service for any of your other friends? Weddings? Funerals? Did you pout that you couldn't fully participate or did you attend to support these people in something that was meaningful to them?[/quote]

No, the issue is that by attending his church, I am missing mine.  Weddings and funerals aren't the same since they don't overlap my own worship. See the difference?[/quote]

It's an hour out of your day. [b]Most churches have multiple services[/b]. You wouldn't be missing anything.[/quote]

That take place at roughly the same time of the week. Are you being intentionally obtuse?[/quote]

No moron, many churches have mutlple services. You can go at 7, 9, 11, or 5pm the night before (Saturday) which is common in Catholic Churches. Check the church website, then pick a time and then attend your church at your favorite time. Are you always this difficult? But be real, you have no intention of doing this and are making up BS excuses that don't even make sense. You're scared you might actually like it.[/quote]

This schedule isn’t common outside of Catholic churches , especially when it comes to Saturday services.  You are looking at this through the view of one specific denomination.[/quote]

DP. 
I think the suggestion was that you could attend a Catholic service at an off-time, possibly freeing you up to attend your own service on Sunday morning.

OP, I wish you well. I read a ton of anger on this thread. I understand it, but from this outside perspective I see that it isn’t going to help you or your husband. I obviously don’t know you, but I wonder if attending both together for a couple of weeks would help spark some conversation. [/quote]

Honestly, I wasn't angry until the continued suggestions (by a single Catholic, I suspect) that I attend Catholic mass. I've been over that for years. Just afraid I'm getting in the way of his own faith, and I do not want to do that, because I know how much the church and God and sacraments mean to me. [/quote]

And as a non Catholic, I just don’t get it.  You invite him to your church, where he can worship Jesus (and seems to be doing so - which in a Christian perspective means his salvation is assured).  And you aren’t preventing him in any way from attending a Catholic Church, if that is what he prefers.  He is an adult.  He decides.[/quote]

If the anger the OP has expressed here is also expressed in the home, then she is preventing him (in a way). [/quote]

OP has said she is only angry at the suggestion that she attend a Catholic service which she is under no obligation to do (and it doesn’t appear that her husband is asking her, but rather a poster here).[/quote]

Page 2. The OP states attending Mass or not has caused fights in their marriage.[/quote]

At the beginning. These was over 10 years ago. We have not fought about it since, and I didn't even think about any of it until two weeks ago.[/quote]

OP, the fact that there were fights and you were the reason he stopped attending makes me view this differently. You should feel guilty. Whatever anyone’s interior spiritual life is, that is for them to discern on their own, not for you to strong arm them. OP, you won your fights. If you feel guilty, that’s on you.[/quote]

I wasn't clear. He stopped attending well before we got married, in college. Very cultural about it. When I learned our marriage wasn't valid and asked what we could do about it, he suggested we start going to church, then get it fixed. I didn't love the idea, he pushed, I pushed back, etc. We didn't attend anywhere for five years, then I started going again because I realized how I'd been to stop. So honestly, we both did it to each other, and I guess I regret it more than he does. Which is fine! I don't need him feeling guilty about those five years. But I do.[/quote]

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