Reply to This is the first year in 13 years that I have completely dropped the rope with DH’s family

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Every argument on this board about sex and division of labor can be broken down into two factions: those who believe that, on avg, men and women have the exact same aptitude for emotional intelligence and executive functioning , and those who believe that, on avg, these skill sets differ noticably btwn the sexes.

Personally, I'm in the latter camp. That being said, my in-laws kind of irritate me and I have long since delegated direct communication and logistical planning to my DH. But the fact remains that if I didn't remind and actively encourage my DH to plan visits, it would never happen. Not bc he doesn't love them or want to see them and make sure they have a good relationship with our kids, but bc he just doesn't operate in a world where maintaining relations (outside of our marriage) is a priority. From talking to friends, I don't think he's that much of an outlier.

I think if you don't want to directly communicate with in laws and leave it to dh there can be good reasons for that, but if you take on literally every other aspect of your family's social lives except for in-law maintenance, you owe it to your kids and spouse to provide some reminders to your spouse to get it done [/quote]

You’re in the wrong camp. It doesn’t take “aptitude” to make phone calls, ask people what they want, order it online, ask your kids what they want, send links to your parents. The presence of a penis does not make these Herculean tasks. Stop babying men.[/quote]

This anti- male thing is so tired. [/quote]

NP. No one is “anti-male,” especially as many of us have husbands who call their families, make plans and work out logistics with them, send them cards and gifts, and run interference if there is any confusion or disagreements. It’s not about being “anti-male,” it’s about being pro-responsibility, pro-basic contact with your own family, and pro-each spouse stepping up to make sure communication and logistics with their own family is handled.

My husband takes care of his family business; if he ever needs help with gift ideas, talking through possible logistics, or getting ideas on how to approach a situation, I help him out. And vice versa. That’s what a marriage of two healthy equals looks like. [/quote]

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